My mother is the main support system for her elderly parents. Her mother (83), my grandmother, is very needy and very resistant to doing anything social or entertaining and relies on my mother for recreation although she is mobile and relatively healthy.
My mother lives in walking distance to my grandparents and lately my grandmother has taken to showing up at my mother's house to see if she is there before or after work. For example, she will open the door to leave for work and see her mother outside her front door or she will have left her car at home and taken public transit to work and will get a call from my grandmother asking if everything is ok because she saw that her car was still at home. Sometimes she will show up in the morning before work and knock on the door to tell my mother something she could have called about. My grandmother never used to do this and my mother said it makes her feel like she's being "stalked." My mother spends a lot of time with my grandmother, multiple nights a week, calls everyday and on the weekend, so it's not like they don't see each other. My grandmother is also very sensitive and cries easily. Has anyone experienced something like this or have any thoughts on how my mother can speak up about this to her mother without having too many hurt feelings?
Also, has anyone had success encouraging their elderly parent or grandparent to participate in activities? There is a local senior center that has tons of activities every day for free, among other low or no cost non senior center activities in the area (we live in a major city). She also has some friends and a husband, but she only seems to want to do things with my mother which as you can imagine has been exhausting for my mother. My mother is also not the only child and has other siblings who aren't as involved. We also think that there is some depression and memory issues going on, but my grandmother is very resistant to any suggestion of mentioning those issues to a doctor.