Do I need to have an attorney draw up an agreement between co-guardians? - AgingCare.com

Do I need to have an attorney draw up an agreement between co-guardians?

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In a nutshell... I am a co-guardian to my parent. My sister and I are co-guardians to our mother. We live in different states. Mom spends half the year with each of us. Last year, my sister kept making travel arrangements and expected me to incur the travel expense to come stay at her house with our mother so SHE could vacation. Then she'd cancel her plans after I paid for my travel arrangements. So, mom was with me for 7 months and just returned to spend the next 6 months with the sister, scheduled to return to me in November. My issue now is we are in the final stages of building a house. Where we currently live is in utter disarray and we are unsure of our closing and moving dates - anywhere between August to October. Tonight, my sister sends me a TEXT to tell me she and her husband are planning on a "long overdue" vacation and that I need to get my mother in October (6 weeks earlier). Not the agreed upon 6 month time frame. When I mention the 6 months and November she goes on to say how she will lose her vacation time this year and its not fair. So, she didn't plan her time (before Mom came back to her house) properly and now she wants me to accomodate her plans. Not to mention I CANNOT make any commitments because of my house/closing situation. She proceeds to go off. Mind you the Guardianship hasn't even been in place one year! My sister made no attempts to come to my home when my mother was with us - everything I did was scheduled around my mother's life. I feel like I need to contact my attorney and ask that some sort of legal co-Guardianship agreement be created because otherwise the responsibility of mom's care will not be an equitable situation. I can guarantee it and I'm sure my sisters husband is consulting her on this/encouraging her. The 6 month time frame should not be modified and each of us need to make proper use of our downtime and not expect the other to step in. That should be the norm - but since nothing is in writing - I think something should be written. I'm even considering just transferring the Guardianship to the state I live in and requesting from the courts a Guardianship and ending the co-guardianship. Please share your thoughts, experiences and feedback. Thank you everyone...

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I am curious why you two feel that guardianship means living and caring for her. I am sure if you look up the legal term it means that you become the decision maker for her care. This could also mean that a conservatorship is seperate. This care will become more complex. Sooner or later she will become more rigid to travel back and forth. So why are you not hiring help?
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Sounds like you do need some sort of agreement, something akin to a custody agreement between a divorced man and woman. I think I would try to help her understand the situation she's putting you in first.

Giving her the benefit of a doubt, she may not realize how her plans are affecting yours. Or it may be that she's focused on her plans and not thinking of yours.

It's unfortunate that your mother is going to be inbetween the two different families' plans. I hope she doesn't begin to feel as though she's the cause of the friction.

I think an allocation of funding needs to be addressed as well.

If you do have to have an agreement, I would rough out the terms between the two of you, if possible, but have an attorney finalize it to ensure that it's binding and properly executed.
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