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Viomom, I see from your profile that your Dad is around my age only in his 70's. And I have noticed for myself that taking a shower is like going to the gym. It can be very exhausting for many seniors. Especially with your Dad having memory lost, mobility issues, etc.

Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet.

Then there is the fear of falling. If your parent is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside.

Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.

Then if the parent needs to blow dry their hair, that can be tiring on their arms.

Whew !!

A parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers.
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It is highly likely that your father is too tired, too lethargic, and too weak to shower but too embarrassed to say he needs help. But, he needs help. He needs hired help most likely because he probably won't allow you to shower him! Now he might decline, but you must organise an assessment with a home care provider of senior care because by pushing him to shower and telling him he stinks may shame him into getting into the shower and having a major fall and accident! Seniors don't shower because they are too tired and weak to do it. Organise a showering assessment from a home care provider as soon as possible! He might need modifcations done to his shower like a chair, hand held shower, safety rails, and a carer to assist. Good luck!
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I'm sorry you're in this situation. Can you tell us more about your father? For example, how old is he, does he have any illnesses, does he have a dementia disorder, and does he live alone or with other people?
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You didn’t say if your dad has dementia or not. I’ll assume not. You also didn’t mention his physical condition. Is he still capable of bathing?

I had to tell my dad point blank that he had body odor. They can’t smell it but, as you know, that doesn’t mean it’s not there.

I offered to help him bathe (he did a couple of times with undershorts on but then refused) but very soon after he needed to be placed in a board and care home after a small stroke. Somehow they got him to bathe.

It’s a tough thing to say, “Dad, I really can’t take the smell. I’ll have to cut back (or cut out) my visits if you won’t clean up.”

That said, it would only apply if your dad is still capable of bathing by himself. Ask him if he is scared of falling in the shower or bathtub. If so, you can hire a shower aide to assist him. Senior helping companies provide this service for a fee. Also, you can have grab bars installed in his shower for better stability, buy a shower chair and get a long hosed shower head he could use while washing.

Good luck.
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