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Thanks to Dr Google, I have just found five, 5★ rated home health agencies serving Palm Desert, California.

You need the name and policy number of your father's health insurer. Go to their website and find out what cover he has and whether they have a list of approved suppliers.

How much have you and your sister habitually had to do with your father, from day to day? Has it been becoming a problem over time?
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CaliSisters Aug 2, 2019
We'd basically been shopping, cooking and driving him to all his doctor appointments. But since this last episode, he's in diapers and unable to walk... we'd already told him at this point, we could no longer help him. So it's just now at the point where he needs round the clock care from professionals.
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"The doctors etc are insisting that my sister and I will have to do the caregiving."

?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Er, they can't.

You just say no.

Have you and your sister made it crystal, unmistakable, unequivocal, that you will not do this?
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CS, at the moment:

Your father won't hear of any plan except his going home.
You and your sister are focused entirely on placing him in a permanent home.

This means that your views are diametrically opposed, and conflict is inevitable, and constructive discussion becomes next to impossible.

It will reduce your stress dramatically if you and your sister *start* *out* from your father's point of view and work on possible ways for him to live at home. It may not be possible, and then he'll have to think again, but the decision is his to make.

Is your sister completely in agreement with you, or are you anxious that she might give way and become a caregiver and drag you into it with her?
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CaliSisters Aug 2, 2019
She moved 500 miles to help him after our mom died... that was two years ago and the level of care he needs has become too great. She is packing and moving back home tonight! I will not be dragged into that role and I'm the only relative nearby. If he won't make permanent plans, I won't see him at all. He's always been mean and abusive and, to me, this is just more of the same. If he makes arrangements I will see him.

Also, we can't even get information on finding him live-in care in his own home. Again, when my sister would take him to his appointments, she was told repeatedly that it's her job to do this! She just can't take it anymore and is leaving. So I'm trying to find a solution for all of our sakes.
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Unless there is any question about your father's mental function, the choice is entirely his. If he wants to return home, he can return home.

What he can't decide is that you and your sister must be his primary caregivers, or, indeed, that you are involved in his care at all. That choice is entirely yours.

His healthcare team need to be made aware that you and your sister are not able to provide hands-on support. Ideally, one or both of you should be included in discussions of his discharge plan. Will your father agree to that?

The only immediate problem I can spot is that your father may airily tell the discharge planners that his daughters will be helping him, so no worries about his returning home. Now the NH *ought* to verify that statement! - but I wouldn't chance it.

Who keeps telling you that your father has good insurance? Your father or somebody else?
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CaliSisters Aug 2, 2019
We've been at his care meetings. The doctors etc are insisting that my sister and I will have to do the caregiving. Everyone else for all other medical procedures always says he can have whatever he wants due to his insurance, yet no information on a permanent home for him. With his insurance and pension, he can afford care... we just can't find how to get it. It's so frustrating and my sister and I are having health issues due to all this stress.
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Sorry, forgot to ask -

Inserting a pacemaker is normally a straightforward minor procedure, and doesn't take much in the way of convalescence beyond a few simple precautions until it's firmly embedded - e.g. no contact sport! Are you sure this is all they were doing?
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CaliSisters Aug 2, 2019
He's at the home for PT because he can barely use arms and can't get up without help. They have him walking a few steps but he's in extreme pain from a knee that's bone-on-bone.
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Your father's health care team can't give you information or discuss his ongoing care plan with you without your father's permission. So it's him you need to talk to first. What has he said about what he would like to do?
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CaliSisters Aug 2, 2019
He wants to come home. No other option. Thinks my sister and I will abandon our lives and jobs and families and tend to him 24\7. We couldn't do that even if we wanted to. He's currently unable to walk because of weakness from heart disease. He lives alone and will basically sit in his feces and starve to death when they take him home.
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