Need immediate legal advice (for Monday morning)... The story continues! Chapter 3

Do not rant. Take all documentation to prove they are fraudulent. Ask court to assign outside conservator and guardian to audit accounts and see if she is getting appropriate care. Reason being to remove the dysfunctional family dynamics.

Make it about what is best for grandma, not you. Be cooperative not confrontational. Stay calm, cool and collected.

Without, in your first post, you say cousin has financial POA and that you asked for his help with fianancials. In second post you say he might have POA. Now you say he has a fraudulent poa.

You also are at odds over where grandma lives. She wants to be at home. Lots of elders want that. It's not always feasible. You also say that she's had dementia, including paranoia for a long time.

You state in first post that she's in an admittedly wonderful place. Now it's a hellhole. And that she's not getting treatment for her condition.

What treatment would you like her to be getting? Will she get that more easily at home?

As Glad says, try to look dispassionately at what grandma needs, not necessarily what she wants, which given her condition, may vary widely from day to day.

Its a hellhole for her Barb. This is a woman that told the national guard to go %$%^ themselves after Hurricane Sandy, this is her home and she wont evacuate unless they shoot her lol...

She can be home, she wishes to be home, and I am willing to work as hard as needed to honor that. Besides, its an assisted living, she is not receiving any care. Just simply surviving. To people like us, that is worse than death. Just because the decor is nice, doesn't make it pleasant.

The POA: He had limited POA over a SINGLE financial account that allowed him to make trades within that account for her best interest. He has affixed that signature sheet to a blanket POA. This was the confusion.

GLADIMHERE: Will they appoint that with me just asking? Do I need to file things, or fill out documents? I am very ignorant to this, and as stated, I have never had any luck with this stuff... I survive on common sense, which seems to have no place in court.

I am calm, and looking out for her best interest always. If it was about me I would of quit a while ago. My family and I have suffered GREATLY for this, and they do it with a smile. I am lucky, she currently is not.

This is my chance to rectify it, I don't want to screw it up over formalities.

Go in and give the court any documentation they ask for. Answer the questions the judge asks calmly. You show drama, changes are nothing good will happen.

I thought the court date was Friday. Did it get changed?

You have had no success in finding some legal representative?

It appears you have changed your screen name yet again. If you open a new account every time you post, no one can follow you. You want us to read your previous posts. Could you provide a list of the names you've used? That's the only way we can find them.

I am glad to see that you have a list of the outcomes you are looking for. Good. You do need to be clear about that. Didn't you say you were appearing in eviction court? Do they have authority to order a trust set up? Is an eviction court the right place to pursue having someone arrested for fraud and theft? (That is what you are accusing him of, right?) It isn't on your list, but isn't another thing you want taking Grandma back to her home? Is this the proper route for that?

I don't know the answers. But I'll tell you one thing: I would absolutely not step foot into the courtroom until I did know. And I would have a lawyer!

You don't want to screw this up over formalities. You have never had any luck with this stuff because you simply don't have the skills to handle it. It is not just "luck." There is NO shame in that. We each have different skills and abilities. Yours don't seem to be handling formalities. That is OK. But when formalities need to be handled, get someone with the right set of skills to help you. In this case that is a lawyer.

Where have you tried looking for a lawyer? Have you contacted Area Agency for Aging to see if they can recommend a low-cost way to deal with caregiving legal issues?

I know you are sincere in wanting what is best for Grandmother. I admire that. I think the best you can do for her now is ask for a postponement while you find some help. I know that is what everyone said in your previous posts. I think it is still true.

When you do go to court, Monday or some later date, with or without a lawyer, I genuinely hope the outcome is what is best for Grandmother.

Withoutapaddle, it's impossible to find any of your previous posts because your answer function isn't enabled.

As Jeanne notes, this is apparently another screen name. What were your previous screen names? it's difficult to link together events posted under different monikers.

Are you Lisa Hernandez? If not, who are you?


And as Jeanne very succinctly notes, you don't have the skills to handle this kind of legal action, yet you've posted that you can't find an attorney. Having worked in law nearly all my life, I find this hard to believe. (And even having sat at counsel table assisting an attorney during a complex case, I certainly wouldn't even consider handling the case you're fighting. I DON'T have the skills either).

You aren't going to get a $500/hour attorney for this kind of action, but there are law firms that do handle personal issues.

Never changed my name, Barb seemed to find them fine and I see them listed under my account.

Its not eviction, I was served with an Order of Protection... This was procured under the guise of an obviously forged POE. I have the paper I was served with, no other proof is needed.

My Questions:
Do you make requests of the court? Or do they "take it from here"...

Should I make a complete list of demands? Or is that pretentious?

I think there are two different "court" threads. Lisa To make Hernandez was going to eviction court on Friday. This is a different issue and a different poster.

If you put Without A Paddle into the search bar, you will see her posts.

I know of several folks who lost their lives in Sandy because they wouldn't evacuate. And several more who put both first responders and loved ones in mortal danger because they wouldn't evaucaute.

I wouldn't tout that as evidence of her sanity or good sense.

If you must appear Monday, do so, but tell the court that you need time to seek legal representation for your grandmother and the funds to do so.

Think its smart to give my cousin time to prep and/or hide evidence Barb? This situation is getting desperate for him quickly, as I fear he is facing real jail time. I have received letters of him increasing credit limits, refused loans, etc... Meaning he blew through a substantial amount of money in a short time.

** and her sanity has been questioned, nor did she have much sense. But she looked out for this family. Just about anything any of us have, she had a hand in. Worked into her 70's to make sure we had it better then her, only to be stuck in a hole and drugged into complacency. I am not defending her honor, I am executing her wishes.

Aging care posters, in general, are not able to give legal information. Have you tried going to Legal Aid in your town or county? Most jurisdictions have them. There is something missing in the information.

Closed today :(

YOU were served with an order of protection and required to appear in court on Monday?

What court is this? Surrogate's? Criminal? Civil?

www.lawny.org/node/13/order-protection-new-york

Family oddly enough... By my cousin, on behalf of my grandmother, giving me the copy of the fraudulent POE (finally).

Your first post about this was 5 months ago, so you say you don’t want to give your cousin more time to hide stuff; that ship has sailed. You just have to move forward & respond to the Order of Protection on Monday. 
You need an attorney. In the long run having an attorney will pay off for you - I know a good attorney is expensive- but there are times you just need to retain one.
It wouldn’t be prudent to give you advice not knowing the details & not being an attorney.
You can even go on the Internet, find an online attorney referral service but that is not free either.
I wish you well & that it works out for you, but in order to fight a battle you need a strategy. A lawyer will help you with this.
Good luck on Monday. 

Withoutapaddle, I apologize for my confusion. It is amazing how many of the details of your post seem to fit the other person's thread! And she was going to court on Friday and couldn't find a lawyer on short notice, etc.

And you answers may show up to you, but you haven't enabled other people to see them. Barb cleverly used a search to find them.

I'm glad to have the clarification.

So, you are not going to eviction court. Whew! You are going based on summons (?) for an Order of Protection, presumably to see if it will be granted or not. Is that right? In that case you may be fine without a lawyer. I don't know about your other goals of a court-ordered trust and arresting you cousin. That sounds like lawyer stuff to me. Maybe Monday should just be about having the Order of Protection thrown out. Then call the Agency on Aging and see what they suggest for legal guidance to pursue the other issues. Maybe. I'm not trying to give legal advice. Just thinking of how I might proceed.

I would think you should take the document naming you as medical proxy, in case it is needed. But that brings up a question. If you have medical proxy, you are the one who decides where Gramma lives. If you think it is in her best interest for her to go home, why haven't you arranged that? What is stopping you from giving the facility notice, arranging in-home help, and taking her home?

You say she is not getting any care at the assisted living facility. But you say they are drugging her into complacency. Hmm ... if they are not handling her medications, how are they managing to drug her?

But that is another issue.

There's only one issue here; the order of protection, barring you from having contact with Grandma.

Is it possible (seems rather likely to me) that Gma told cousin that you threatened her with a gun and attempted to extort money. We hear tales like that on here from folks caring for relatives with dementia and paranoia frequently.

Do you think that's possible?

I have retread this post. I also can find no past posts. If you were served with an Order of Protection, it would seem that your cousin is questioning what you have done and is trying to protect your grandmother. It would seem that if she wanted your help she would have given you POA (power of Attorney) to act in her behalf. I have not heard of a POE.

No problem Jeanne, I will go hunt that setting down!

He has been blocking me at every turn from bringing her home., because that would end his spending spree. Hence my urgency. I have to assume he has exhausted the majority of the money for her care, and the house needs to be altered for her to come home. Not huge, but enough. After that he can choke the rest from prison, I can care for her... Just cant allocate for home alterations, trial, etc... I have children. Not to mention if I spent on altering the home then he sold it under a fake POE, omg...

BARB: No, this is definitely from him. He is scared and I am the only one asking questions. If he can get rid of me, he got away with it all. Simple dirt throwing now. Its about $$ for him. Not one, but two Mercedes, elegant lifestyle, new luxury apt, etc...

I have literally made sure someone was at the house 24/7 so he couldn't change the locks, trying to protect it (for a year - its really been a rough time).

However, I want the court to look into the spending. See how deep it goes. I want his home searched for missing valuables... Are these reasonable requests? And how do you ask them?

Have you called Adult Protective Services to report the fraudulent use of her funds?

How is the Assisted Living facility being paid?  Are you the person talking to her docs about medication?

I did Barb. They had me calling the DA, police, etc... All in process. This court date is a happy surprise that may bypass all that?

Nope. This is a separate issue, I believe.

I think you need to produce evidence on Monday that you've reported him for financial abuse to APS, DA, etc.

As Jeanne says, bring your Medical POA with you.

I am not a lawyer. This is not legal advice.

Agree with Barb. Bring the names & dates of whom you spoke with @ APS & what they found. 
Too many unknowns here and I am confused on why this went on for so long and still is going on.  

Fascinating. I will be standing in a court of law before judge, with obvious and damming proof of fraud and reckless expenditure that's ruining woman's life - and everyone seems to feel it needs more time effort and money from me - while he continues a care free life of spending and harassing.

However, I am sure if I threw 10k into a legal fund, the world would spin. This is the part I never did understand and why I have little "luck" with this stuff... I am exhausted. My family is exhausted. We have lived this day in and day out with no relief. There has to be a way for the court to at least make an inquiry of sorts...

Paddle, I'm sure you would be happy if the world was a simpler place. But in reality, right now, different courts have jurisdictions over different things.

You're going to Family Court and thus can't argue that a criminal investigation be opened in THAT court. 

You can, however tell the family court judge that you've set in motion an investigation of monetary fraud/embezzlement/ criminal acts by cousin.  

And that perhaps this motion is a response to your action to investigate his financial malfeasance. 

Yes & an attorney would know how to do that. You could assist he/she by providing paperwork or other info they may need so it cuts down the fee. I don’t think you have much recourse. You can’t just accuse someone of stealing or ask LE to search an apartment without probable cause in a criminal case. No grand jury would approve a warrant to search anyone’s home or make an arrest without proof. And thank goodness for that, btw. 

I had an issue of my own that I tried to settle myself to no avail until I hired an attorney to assist me & he was able to do it. Yes it cost me. But it was worth it.

How is your grandmother? Is she competent enough to understand what has been going on? Why do you say she is drugged or someone questioning her sanity? Is there enough funds to keep her in AL? Do you speak with her doctors and discussed your concerns with the doc?
I know you are not happy with the advice given so far but the court system is complicated. An attorney is familiar with those procedures and will help guide you through this.

As long as the cousin continues to use the grandmother's funds and assets to pay for the expensive ALF in which the grandmother was originally placed with the OP's knowledge, I'm not sure why the court would intervene.

Withoutapaddle, I do honestly think it will go down better with the court if you show at least some awareness that at this hearing on Monday you will be the one defending yourself against a serious accusation. It has been alleged that you made threats, armed with a weapon. This is not a context in which any counter-allegations you make are going to have any credibility. You would do better to think about how you are going to refute, or at least explain, the account being given of your actions.

I hope all of you are wrong, but in my experience you probably aren't... I am not defending myself against any accusations, especially those submitted under a crayola POE. She did not wish to be locked in a home, so it doesn't matter who is paying for it.

There has to be a point where right is right, or to be honest, I think I give up...

Not to mention!!? Why am I defending myself against allegations, when he handed the judge proof of his own and he faces nothing!? Someone explain this.

I'm confused. What did your cousin hand the judge? The judge in this case? And what is a POE?

You are defending yourself because the allegations are false and you don't want the consequences if the court believes them. Rather than simply grant your cousin the "protection" he has asked for, the court wants to hear your side of it. Similarly, your cousin will have a chance to defend himself against accusations against him. It is how the system works.

Power of Attorney.