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My live in boyfriend,of 15 years, had his seventh stroke and it's presently left him unable to walk or talk and is on several medications daily. He was admitted to a rehab facility directly from the hospital and I have been wanting to transfer him to a facility that is closer to my home and he's agreed to the transfer in order to be able to see me more often. I have no car so I have struggled with visiting him over the last two weeks and I need assistance with transferring to a facility that I've spoken to and is able to acceptMedicaid (since he's on SSI.)


A few years ago I was informed by the doctor that he was getting dementia due to the shrinking of his brain and it's been trying for several years now but I'm going to be at his side as much as I can with the exception of the occasional interference from his father who is actively trying to be involved in his recovery process although the dynamics of their relationship is stressful to say the least.
Until this last stroke, he was living with me and I was the primary person who kept up with his caregiving and most of the necessary tasks in so far as his affairs with SSA, doctor appointment and visits and various other tasks.


What is the process for getting the transfer done ASAP?!!!

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Is your BF able to communicate at all? Can he, in the presence of the social worker for his case, write on a white board that he wishes to be closer to you (and for the reasons you listed)? Not being able to talk is not the same as being incapacitated, so he can still make his own decisions, unless dementia/memory impairment has progressed to the point that now his PoA or legal guardian needs to step in to make decisions on his behalf. Is this what his father is doing? Is his father his legal guardian or PoA?

When my step FIL became a ward of the county (he had Parkinsons) and they put him in a facility 1 hr away, we appealed to them on behalf of his wife so that we could her out there weekly to see him. They did move him closer, but it wasn't a nice place.

Please let us know who is his legal advocate, as this is the person who needs to request to move him. If he's a ward of the county I think you can talk to his case manager. Please be transparent with his dad and communicate with him, since not doing this will just work against everyone, including your BF.
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