My parents are 25 years apart, father is 91, mother is 66. After a fall my father is now wheelchair bound and needs help 24/7. My mother works full time and currently they have a caregiver who comes Mon-Fri for 10 hours each day. My father also goes to dialysis 3x per week.
The issue is my mom is no longer strong enough to lift my father in and out of his wheelchair so he pretty much needs a 24 hour caregiver now.
Basically she wants to put my father in some kind of an assisted care facility, but can't afford it on her salary plus his social security. They have savings but that would run out if he stays alive for several more years and she still has a long life ahead of her. They don't qualify for Medicaid because they have too much in assets. They do not own their home.
My father basically created this situation by squandering a lot of money the last 10-20 years and now my mother is the one paying the price. There is a lot of resentment and she no longer wants to slave away all day at work and take care of him during all her non working hours.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to approach this situation? Unfortunately I live very far away and can't afford to help much. It seems like either my mom has to keep living a miserable life until my father dies or be poor during her retirement years.
Appreciate any thoughts or ideas on solutions. Thanks!