In mid July a relative told my mother that I was in the process of placing her in a long term and taking her assets. All of which is untrue. Everyone that knows my mother knows she fears any kind of institutional care because she was raised in an orphanage. Using this lie they then took my mother to her banks and opened a joint acct at 1 and transferred the money from another to their own account, including her monthly social security check (since resolved). She was told not to answer my calls and did not.
Long story short about 12 days later I received a call from the state social worker telling me has dementia she is in the hospital,. Then a couple of days later I am told by the hospital social worker "she is of her own person".
She was told at discharge from the hospital she could either go home with me, go to long term care of adult foster care. She came home with me.
Also at her discharge the hospital did not tell me she had or has any mental illness, even though she signed the HEPPA form to allow me to discuss and have any medical records. I was given instructions to care for her broken arm, acquired while with the relative that took her money, days prior to her recent hospitalization. I DISCOVERED BY RESEARCHING SHE IS TAKING MEDICATION FOR DEMENTIA AND SCHIZOPHRENIA/BI-POLAR. I immediately contacted the hospital medical social worker who confirmed she was on this type of medication, was surprised the doctor did not come talk to me/us before discharge and told me the diagnosing doctor had minimal training in the area and is not certified.
My mother use to work with the mentally impaired and was an ombudsman for people in long term care. She knows her rights. She will not voluntarily take testing or give anyone DPOA. She believes people want to control her or put her in long term care.
She did file a police report under the "Elder Law" against the relative that took her money, most of which has been spent on a "new home". It is under investigation. I was told she will have to testify. I know she cannot do this because she does have something wrong mentally. I do not know what it is because I am not a doctor.
Why do I say this: She hallucinates, seeing things that are not there or happening. She is paranoid and trusts no one. Her events begin at dusk. She will repeatedly ask the same questions on issues that have happened that day/hour to within the last 5 or 6 years, but is able to remember events long ago. She states that the relative that did this to her lives with her. This person has not lived with her for 40 years. She also states she has not seen or talked to me for 20 years, but I spoke with her everyone 2 or 3 days (we are separated by mileage), visiting and doing repairs to her home as often as I could She often says she is not hungry, but practically licks her plate or she cannot remember if or what she ate. When I discovered she was urinating in a bucket in her bedroom she told me she was not able to hold her urine long enough to get to the bathroom. These are just a few examples of her state of mind/actions.
What do I do? I have no legal authority, she will not cooperate because of her fear. She is currently in my home but I cannot afford to financially support her and cannot ask others to continue to care for her. Quitting work to care for her is not an option for me.
She does not realize she has something wrong mentally and wants to go home after her cast is removed. She currently blames her mental state on hitting her head when she fell, but thinks she is getting better.
I need her to be diagnosed so she is cared for properly mentally, physically and financially. I also need to prove to the courts she will not be able to testify in her own behalf because it is difficult for her to remember current events unless you repeatedly remind her what happened.
On an average she has been in the hospital once a month since January. She refused to allow her medical information released to anyone, until the last hospitalization, so I do not know why she was hospitalized, However, even though she gave permission for the last hospitalization they did not tell me why she was there. Her records were requested with my mom's signature to be sent to my home but I have yet to receive them.
It has been suggested to me that I allow her to go home, knowing she will again be hospitalized. When the hospital contacts me again refuse to take her home until they have had her mentally diagnosed by a certified geriatric psychologist, even though SHE WILL NOT COOPERATE, and run the necessary tests for her medical condition. She has stated she has some medical conditions that I was not informed of and have no records of.
I am lost and do not know how to handle this situation.