Follow
Share

My husband was diagnosed in Feb 2015 but was exhibiting signs since Feb 2010. I've been his only caretaker and had to quit work Jan of 2016 so I can watch him full time. He needs help bathing, dressing, toileting, but the worst is the hallucinations, delusions and constant paranoia. He's on Namenda, Quetiapine Fumarate, and Donepezil, but they don't help with the worst parts. He receives disability as well as a pension so we can't get Medicaid. I tried applying with Social Services and was denied - too much income. Also applied with the local aging service and no funding so no help there. I'm at the end of my rope. I just want to run away from the whole situation. He's 62 and I'm 53 and so depressed, lonely, burnt out but don't know where to turn. He's also in denial - doesn't think he has a disease, but still takes his pills at least. Any advice? suggestions? Only family is his daughter who has a two month old baby, her baby's father and his two daughters plus she works 40 hours a week - no help there. He has a sister, but she's in NC and can't take him. Please help!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Thanks 97YearOldMom, but we live in Illinois. :(
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Barb,
We know you meant LoriJo. This is a new computer or website glitch. I hate it when they put different words automatically. It happens so often, that I think I will stop trying to correct mine from now on.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Lotion, is the Eldercare attorney NAELA certified?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

In some states, it is called a " pooled income trust". So NYS has it, just not called Miller.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You have to wonder, Hugemom - how much is that agent "getting from the government"? It may be a salary in return for her labour rather than a social benefit, but I'll tell you what. She isn't being paid to sneer at people who are only claiming what they're entitled to.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

“As of 2017, the following states are income cap states and Miller Trusts are an option to gain Medicaid eligibility: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nevada, New Mexico, New Jersey, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, and Wyoming.”

From this website.

payingforseniorcare.com/medicaid-pooled-income-special-needs-trusts.html%3ftmpl=amp
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Yeah, guys, this is what the Social Security agent told me. I was humiliated and felt like a money-grubbing beggar. Veronica, thanks for your selling suggestion. I may just try that!

Miller Trusts have been suggested to me as well, but we absolutely need every penny we get now, and more. However, at some point I may just explore the idea.

Lorijo, take a few hours and go on the Internet. There may be some help out there for you. You never know. I’m crossing my fingers for you!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Hey BarbBrooklyn - how come when I called the elder law attorney he didn't mention this Miller law? He told me to call homes and just ask if they'll take him and ask if they'll take what I am able to pay which is a little less than half of what most places require even with me working and slimming the budget down. Thanks BarbBrooklyn! I'll have to check this out
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Huge Mom you said you are a knitter right?
Have you thought of selling stuff on Easy?
if you can do complicated patterns i think you might do well.
Just a thought.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

She said WHAT, Hugemom????? What a cow.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Bumping up for more ideas.

Too much income can be solved with a Miller Trust.  Need an eldercare attorney for that, also because you, the Community Spouse needs income.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I am in pretty much the same situation as you. My husband is bedridden and I do everything for him but feed him. He does not have dementia, but has such a strange sense of humor sometimes I wonder what’s worse. He was a business owner and was used to giving orders. That “talent” has transferred to me, or maybe I should say “at”.

We are in a terrible spot financially. We overextended ourselves on our home and it’s sucking us dry. It would be so much work to sell it, and like you, I have no help. I have spent hours on the phone and internet looking for help. Like you, there is none. Social Security b***h told me we weren’ t getting any more from the Government than we already get.

So what do i do? I make my own peace. Sometimes I’m successful and sometimes I’m not. I knit. I read. I spend time with my grands and kids. I head to bed at 10PM for alone time. I have a dog I love. I also vent and ask for help on this wonderful site. Take care of yourself. I’m sending hugs.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter