Need help caring for mom in exchange for room and board. Mom is 89 and still mobile with a walker showers and dresses herself.

Not that I agree with your proposal, Search "home sharing"

https://seniorplanet.org/senior-house-sharing-is-on-the-rise/

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/senior-homesharing-30159.html

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/caring-elderly-relative-where-begin-29539.html

Nick, you are a good son. Sorry, that sounds terribly condescending. 😱 but..... I am only weighing in here because I have 50 years familiarity and history w/your area. And my Mom lived out the last of her 95 years, pleasantly, in Naples/Marco.

I was maybe 9-10 YO the first time I saw Marco. Beautiful, pristine, wild, undeveloped.....you REALLY had to want to get there on the ragged 2-lane highway from Ft. Myers. It was a very long drive. And, that was then.....tho even today, the I-75 signs warn you: Last Exit.....before the unforgiving Everglades....

Now: just an overbuilt, ultra wealthy playground. And AL costs big $$. As does everything else.

You have been given excellent previous advice. Take it to heart. My sibs and I were all very long distance but kept Mom in her condo until 91 with help from her church and friends and their recommendations for in home care. Not live-in. Part-time, every day. She was was very active and well-known and beloved in her community. Your Mom sounds isolated. A sad but true fact these days.

You say "we" can't afford. Stop! You are not responsible for paying for your Mother's care. I think you may be at that point where you have to seriously acknowledge that your Mom just can't continue to live in her home.

The ALZ organization in Naples is beyond excellent. And no.... Your LO doesn't have to have ALZ, my Mom didn't. They are worth a call. Very helpful re: references for everything from in-house help to AL to SNF. Give them a call. I wish you the best Nick.....it's just damn tough......so very sorry!

Room and board is not acceptable for taking care of an elderly loved one. It takes someone with the right attitude. The elderly are often the targets for financial abuse or neglect.

Nick, if you have someone move in with your mother, if that person turns out to be "unacceptable" you will need to evict them if they refuse to move out because, well, that's where they live. It's a legal process that costs money to file in court and once you get the proper paperwork you will need to post it for 30 days and if then that person still refuses to move out, you will need to have cops come. Not sure it is worth the risk. BarbBrooklyn has give you very sound suggestions that you should seriously consider. If your mom has all this help orbiting around her, how is she independent? Answer: she's not. Instead, you are tethered to her and all because she has an irrational fear of nursing homes.

I have 2 very senior aunties in FL who use Visiting Angels. Their Angel provides all the services you are seeking plus the bonuses of companionship and being vetted by the franchise. $22 p/hr but well worth it. If you hire a private party, background check or not, you are putting your mom at risk. Elder financial abuse is often a crime of opportunity. Plus there are many predators out there who know how to sell themselves in sheep's clothing (this happened in my family).

As for college students...they don't know anything about what it means to be senior, so just be thoughtful about which tasks you ask them to perform. Also, they might be on social media the whole time or texting, having friends overnight and using "medical" marijuana or more... We just want you to go into this with your eyes wide open.

You can’t just offer room and board. Not only is NOT enough compensation for what your mom needs but it doesn’t take into consideration the fact that the person NEEDS an income. They will have their own expenses. you are asking for them to be there all day with your mom from 7am-4pm. If they were to get a night job, they would need to sleep during the day and couldn’t help your mom.

Nick; here is an answer to the question that you haven't asked: what are your mother's ACTUAL needs?

You need to get a dispassionate "needs assessment" either from the local Area Agency on Aging or from a team that her doc sends out (think, OT, SW, etc).

My mom thought she was FINE living by herself in an isolated suburb. Thorough cognitive testing told us otherwise.

There is a subtle shift that happens where suddenly, you, the "kid" needs to step up and become the director.

Are there any colleges in Naples? Churches near colleges often have college ministries and might know of students who would be interested in exchanging sitting services for room and board. I don't think there would be legal problems with such an exchange(?).

Obviously, you would want to conduct a background check...

In what sense is she not "ready" to attend a Senior center? It was the best thing EVER for my MIL, who had very mild cognitive loss but was still fully mobile. It gave her a focus and something to complain about!

Nick, I feel for you, really I do.

I dont think that it's legal to offer only room and board in exchange for labor. You open yourself up to all sorts of scams, lawsuits...

Some ideas? Have you applied to Medicaid for your mom?

Have you been in touch with the local Area Agency on Aging?

Is there Adult DayCare she could attend while you work?