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my father in law can not walk or take of him self at all.he is incontene.im his daughter in law im the only one who can take care of him and it is hard on me im 53 years old with a bad back and arthrist all though my body.his works over the road as a truck driver.my so works he me pull him up in bed.i half to leave him in bed that's the only way I can take care of him my self.home health care cost to much all most $20 a hr.we cant do that much.we were doing 6 hrs 5 days a week but had to cut down to 2 days a week.I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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You really have limited options:
1. have a family meeting and have an agreement made by all that they will either take turns day-by-day to come over and take care of dad or pay for a home health agency to do daily care for the hours they would have provided caregiving.

2. If FIL was a veteran, he can apply for VA "Aid & Attendance"

3. go out and look a nursing homes and get FIL on a waiting list of the ones you like best. Narrow your list to only those that do admissions "Medicaid Pending".
Then when you are at the NH get their list of the documents you will have to include in the medicaid application and then go home and start to find them. If FIL has any assets they will have to be spend down to about 2K first & foremost before Medicaid will pay. Any monthly income FIL is getting - like FIL SS or other retirement - will have to be paid to the NH as his required co-pay by Medicaid.

So if you all have been using any of FIL income to supplement your household expenses...that $ will not be there anymore for you to use.

The Medicaid application is pretty exact on what they want to see and be provided copies of. My mom's application was slightly over 100 pages but mainly due to her old-fashioned term life insurance polices (front & back copies of them too). If your FIL is of imminent need of caregiving in a facility, you really don't have the time to do any creative planning of his assets or income unfortunately. Good luck.
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