My Dad had a stroke and heart attack in March of this year, and has been staying in AL since April. He has been difficult with staff at times - refusing to take medications, complaining he wants to leave, cursing at the nurses, etc. Other times he is fine and accepts where he is at and is cooperative overall. He has moderate cognitive decline (beginning stages of middle dementia, although not officially diagnosed by a doctor because he refuses to see one. He also has aphasia and cannot read or write, and I am only able to understand about 10% of what he says.
Last weekend my husband and I came to visit Dad in AL and he was in the lobby and told us he wanted to leave. We said he couldn't take him out and went upstairs to his room waiting for him. He left the building on his own and was out in the parking lot refusing to come back in. I had to call the police to get him back in the building and everything seemed to calm down.
On Sunday I get a call from the head nurse that he is cursing out staff, complaining he wants to go and needs to be watched over so that he doesn't leave building. They told me to come pick him up, bring him to the hospital for a psych check and that he couldn't come back there. This is a whole other story, and something I am taking up with AL separately since there was only one incident where he left.
I take him to hospital, and he is in hypertensive crisis, O2 of 75 to 80, and they tell me they think he had a mild stroke two days back. He is admitted and then tried to escape hospital, was hitting nurses and need to be restrained. Turns out he was retaining urine due to enlarged prostrate, and once that was dealt with by putting in a Foley, he was much better and back to his normal self (although his speech is more impaired again due to second stroke).
AL and my Elder Care Attorney recommended Memory Care for my Dad early on before we knew about the retention. As I thought my Dad would only be in hospital a couple of days and would have no place to go since I work full time, I booked him at one. Now that he is better, I don't feel comfortable at all bringing him there. The people are much worse cognitively then where my Dad is at, and I know this will make he very nervous and worsen his dementia.
Question - if I bring him home with me for a couple of weeks (no AL local to us will take him with Foley), can I enforce somehow that he go to AL after that? My Dad wants to live with my husband and I, but we both work full time and travel for work, so this would need to be a short term situation only. What do I do if he refuses to go to AL in a couple of weeks, or I am better having him transferred from hospital to MC and then work on finding AL from there? I don't know how many AL places would be willing to take him after being in MC.
Sorry this is so long - but I just want the best place for my Dad, and also something that I will be able to manage. I am POA and have Advanced Medical Directive. No guardianship.