Ok I need some direction/help/advice for a friend living in West Virginia (I'm in Texas).
Here are the details:
He is 47 and takes care of his 76 year old mother. He owns their farm jointly, with his mother and deceased father (he was told he cannot remove his father's name without refinancing and is not eligible to refinance at this time). His mother is currently exhibiting beginning stage alz/dem. She is peeing and defecating on the floor several times per day. Denies she is doing it. She refuses to wear depends or other incontinent product. In addition, she is drinking a 30 case of beer every two days. (I've already advised him that he needs to just stop buying the beer and live with her being angry at him) She has not showered in weeks and refuses to do so, because she said she is not able due to COPD and arthritis. Yet, when he threatened her with being placed in a senior care facility, she took a shower on her own.
He has his own business and a significant number of animals that require care and feeding. The farm is how he makes a living so he can't neglect the animals. He is at his wits end on what to do about his mother. He is exhausted and only getting about 3 hours of sleep a night. He waits on her hand and foot - his other family members do nothing to help (they have their own lives). He previously contacted the local senior care agency (about a year ago) and they have told him that if she is in her "right mind" that there is nothing they can do to help. At this time, I would say her "right mind" is disappearing. She will not give him power of attorney for finances or medical care.
Where should he begin? I know he needs to contact an elder care lawyer to correctly plan for his own future, but our biggest concern is how to get help caring for his mother. If he doesn't get help soon he is going to end up in the hospital himself.
Any advice??? especially if you live in West Virginia.... there seems to be a lack of clear information from this state.