Mom & dad live in an old row home that is falling apart with 3 stories. Bathroom, bedroom upstairs, and full responsibility for upkeep, bills etc. Need to get them to move out. Mom, 86, suffers from dementia. Dad is her caregiver. Dad is 87, fit as a fiddle and wants to keep enjoying life, he gives mom medications and makes sure she is fed. Is it a good idea at this point to convince them to move to a one floor senior living apartment? All utilities included. Dad would not have to take care of the bills anymore! I know mom will need more than that very soon, but they do not want to part since they have been married for 64 years.

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As someone who is going through the trial of modifying a family home for disability; please do your research and budget very carefully because it is a Huge undertaking. If all you need are some grab-bars in the bathroom go for it but any renovation for wheelchair use? Forget it and buy/rent somewhere else unless you have cash to burn.
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Sue, I've been told by several realtors that today is a seller's market, at least in our area. That's been a consideration for my father's house, but I would only deal with flippers after doing a background check.

After seeing how sloppy a real estate flipper was with the house next door, I'd want to be sure that someone reliable took on the project. One of the so-called contractors was handling fiberglass insulation w/o gloves or mask, dumped it in an open trailer, and even left some in the back yard.

There are a lot of sleazeballs around these days who keep sending solicitations every few months or so, with "come-on" ads like some of the shysters who'd sell anything to someone gullible.

What I'm looking for is a veteran to take on the house and renovate to his/her own standards. I'm not sure where I'm going to look, but I'll do some research when I'm ready.

Something you might consider, or at least explore, is a continuum of facilities, ranging from skilled rehab IL to AL to memory care. The facility at which my father passed had a senior community with those levels of care, including skilled rehab. I've seen more of those in SE Michigan.

This particular one was located on a lake; either the AL or IL facility had a lakefront view. On the other side was a forest, complete with a small deer herd that came out and fed at night, in view of some of the residents.
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Dad is so concerned about having to 'fix up' the house to sell, which is overwhelming to someone his age and trying to take care of my mom. You are so right freqflyer that they can sell there home 'as is'. Lots of people buy these homes at low cost, renovate and flip. I brought up the idea of them moving to a senior apartment complex and he seemed interested. I think if they could move there, they could get home care. I see a lot of home care agency specialize in memory care needs.
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It would certainly be a good idea to get them to move but are they likely to agree? if they won't look into options for making their current home more disabled friendly. It will cost money of course but there could be a bedroom and bathroom on the first floor and move things like the kitchen to an upper floor.
Another alternative is to install a stair lift to help Mom easily get up and down stairs.
We have one and it really is a godsend and makes the whole house easily useable.
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Sue, great idea to start the conversation about moving to a "retirement complex". You'd be surprised how many elders are not familiar with such places. My Dad [94] never knew these nice places had existed, so it is up to us to inform them. He thought homes for seniors were like asylums of which his elder relatives were placed.

Look around for a complex that offers Independent Living [an one or two bedroom apartment, with living room, and full size kitchen], and also offers Assisted Living/Memory Care which is a studio apartment with a dorm refrigerator. Such places usually have weekly housekeeping [daily with Assisted Living] and weekly linen service where one's bedding and towels are washed [daily with Assisted Living]. Meals usually are included in the main dining room.

Some complexes are set up to resemble a nice hotel with a restaurant style dining room with 2 sittings.

Some places have it where you "purchase" your independent living apartment, such offer square footage of over 2,000 sqft which is quite large, and smaller places. Depending on where you live is the price. When your parents move out of such "purchase" places, your parents or the estate will get back the cost minus 10% or 20% depending on the complex. Such places offer indoor swimming pools, gyms, a bank, beauty salon, on-site doctor's office, etc. Monthly fees for such places are a bit high, like in the $2k per month.

The smaller complexes your parents would rent an apartment for around $5k per month [depending on your area], and Memory Care would be around $7k per month.

My Dad moved into a smaller complex which had both choices of services. He really enjoyed himself there. He eventually moved to Memory Care, we use to joke about his "college dorm room" because of the size.

Your parents could sell their row house "as is" no fussing about repairmen and contractors. Just have the place appraised by a licensed Appraiser, then call a Realtor. I did that with my Dad's house and it worked out very smoothly.

Good luck.
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