Need advice on dementia treatment.


For the past few years, my mother has been showing increasing signs of what we think is dementia - repeating herself, not following rules when we play games, not knowing what day it is or thinking Christmas is soon for the past 6 months, thinking her husband is her father, etc. She doesn't have problems with words or identifying objects; she does misplace things often. She often wants to go home, but she thinks she lives in an identical house to this one, and when she does something in one house, it magically happens in the other, such as buying a piece of furniture. She obsesses over things, worrying and worrying for hours. She thinks she works but she hasn't for decades. She hasn't been violent that I know, but she threatened her husband and demanded that he leave "her house", and he often stays at a hotel down the street. Several times while he was at the hotel, she's fallen and was not able to easily get up. Right now she's bruised on her nose, head, two black eyes, bruised arm and toes from falling again. She won't go to a Dr; she's had an MRI but has not been formally diagnosed; other tests are all normal. She won't take the medication they prescribed, since she says she doesn't need it. She doesn't cook or drive. She has left the house before and had police bring her back. I live out of state, so all I can do is call her every day and visit as much as possible, but it doesn't seem like enough. She won't have anyone come to the house to clean or help out. I have so many questions: Does this sound like dementia or something else? When should she be moved to a memory care place? And how do you do that if she won't go? I don't think you can force her. if she won't see a Dr, who can I go to for advice? Shouldn't someone be overseeing what's happening? Her GP says it's outside of her area. And her neurologist says she should take meds, which she won't do, so he said there's nothing he can do. Sorry for the long summary. Any advice is very appreciated!!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.


Cindi, sorry you have this trouble. I went through this with my mother.

I agonized for months. Sis and I finally arranged for her to move to a nice Memory Care facility. We told mom we were just taking her out to lunch, and took her to the "place"
as she called it. We waited a week to visit her and when we arrived, she was happy as could be!

Unfortunately, her condition declined rather quickly and we have now moved her to a skilled nursing facility.
Helpful Answer (1)

What does your Dad think of the situation? Is he on board with getting her assessed, or is he afraid of losing her?
Helpful Answer (0)

Thank you for the reply! I've never heard of Adult Protective Services, I'll do some research and see if I can find it in her area.
Helpful Answer (0)

Dear Cindi,

I'm so sorry, I know you are dealing with a lot. From what you are saying it does seem like your mom needs to be evaluated more and possibly needs assisted living or a nursing home. Can you contact Adult Protective Services in her state? Talk to a social worker about your concerns and have them help arrange her care?

I am worried for your mom. It doesn't sound like its safe for her to be alone. She says she doesn't take her meds, but maybe she is also taking too much leading to her confusion and falls.

I hope you can get the help your mom needs.
Helpful Answer (2)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.