I've been reading the questions and comments for a while. I need some insight this situation. My mother is starting to transition with good and bad days mixed in. I have two sisters who really hate each other and I'm the middle. I call my older sister to give her detailed updates on our mother's condition and I get the detailed updates from my younger sister who lives in the same state as our mother. The younger sister is the POA and has made the funeral arrangements and told me after they were done. My mother wanted to give her the house and suddenly the will is sealed. I don't know what to think other than the will has been changed. My sister said that until my mother passes, no one will know what's in the will. She also said that the will that she has is from when our father passed 30 years ago, although my older sister has a copy and opened it from my mother. I'm the only child that never got a copy of the will. Something seems strange about the whole thing. I was recently laid off so I'm dealing with my mother's situation, my sisters mess, unemployment, financial issues, pandemic etc... I am a bundle of nerves and cry constantly. I need advise. Thank you.
Sorry you are facing financial stress and problems at the same time your are grieving the loss of your parent.
I read a while back that you should tell no one what is in your will. Then they can be mad at you after your gone.
As a POA your sister doesn't really need be privy to what is in the Will. Even an Executor should not know until its time to probate. My girls have never been shown our Wills and have never asked to see them. I have told them where the investment/finances are, though.
This question has been brought up before. When Mom passes, the POA is no longer. This is where the Executor comes in. Their first responsibility is to file the Will with probate. It will then become public. Executor then has to inform the beneficiaries and interested parties the Will is now in Probate and either send a copy or make it available upon request. Once you are able to see the will, then you can determine if Mom made changes in favor of your sister. I doubt 30 yrs ago she left the house to her. If Mom has Dementia and there are doctor records establishing that, and the Will is dated after her diagnosis, then you have grounds to contest the Will. If there is no Dementia, then Mom had a right to change her Will. At that point you may be able to say sister coerced her and contest it which will take time and money. Or, just let it go. For now, not much you can do.
If your mother is of sound mind she has every right to change her will. She may have decided to give the house to her daughter who did the main caregiving and continues to manage her affairs as a posthumous payment for her efforts. We just had a similar situation with one of my cousins and her father. Worrying about an inheritance will make your life miserable and ruin your relationships with your sisters. Your mother should have been transparent about the change to avoid what is happening right now.
If your mother has dementia and it is in her medical records you may need to wait for her to pass to have any evidence that she was not of sound mind when she made the change (but laws differ from state to state so you will need to check this and also lawyer-up with your proof).
FYI if your mother lives long enough she will require Medicaid to pay for her continued care and, if the house hasn't been sold to pay for her care, Medicaid puts a lien on it so that it recovers the cost of her care when the house is eventually sold after your mom's passing. So it is possible that no one gets the house free and clear. May you have peace in your heart over this matter.
I am also POA, medical and financial and the lawyer reviewed those documents with me before I signed off in accepting the responsibility.