Need advice. Mom is getting worse at assisted living. - AgingCare.com

Need advice. Mom is getting worse at assisted living.

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Mom is in AL in Ga. I live in Alabama. I have come over many times and addressed with them 3 times that she needs help. The aides come in, ask her if she needs help or wants a shower, she says no and they leave. I walked in yesterday afternoon and she had soiled her pants at lunch, no Depends on, slacks and shoes covered in poop. Mom is now on hospice. I cleaned her up. While I was changing her I noticed her legs were so swollen she was weeping fluid from them. She has compression socks but they either don't put them on her or they leave them on her and she cuts them off at night because she can't get them off. I have repeatedly complained about those things. They keep telling me it's the others responsibility. How hard would it be to take her home with me and get her set up with hospice in another state? How do I go about it and getting her meds/orders and anything else she will need? Is the equipment (shower chairs, walkers etc) hospice supplied hers? She has moderate Alz, Afib, CHF. Since she moved to Ga she has gotten worse and it is breaking my heart. My step siblings will not take care of her or advocate for her. She will not live much longer at this rate. I have medical advanced directive. In GA you don't have to have a POA, the directive is all that's needed.

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Caregiving things I have learned . . . Not all facilities with the same title offer the same services. From reading posts here, I've learned that ALs in some areas don't offer near the services the ones in my area offer. So, I belive, it is important to meet with the director of the facility and ask specifically what they can handle.
Likewise, when it was time for me to seek out hospice services for a friend, I called EVERY service serving her area and inquired about what they offered. I found one that sent aides 5 days a week for 2 hours each day. The nurse visited biweekly in the beginning and more often as the end got near. They also had volunteer visitors, spiritual advisors, etc.
For your specific questions: from my perspective, getting set up on hospice is easy. You sign her out of one and arrange for an evaluation in the new state. BUT I would call around my new area first to be sure you have everything they need. They may also be able to work with the current hospice on the medical equipment. The current AL should have her prescriptions and you can ask for hard copies of them. You would also need to arrange for medical transport (which may be private pay).
I'd suggest you begin with the director of the current AL to see if there is something that can change there. Not every AL knows how to deal with dementia residents.
Finally, the fact that she is on hospice indicates she has medical conditions indicating an inability to get better. I'd urge you to seek assistance from the spiritual care team from that hospice, they will help you too. good luck.
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Reply to geewiz
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I recommend contacting your local hospice who you want to provide service when you have your mother in your home and see how much of the transfer they can arrange. Locally, when hospice is brought in they arranged almost everything - from medicine to equipment. No experience with moving across state lines but hospice will have probably done this before.
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Reply to TNtechie
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Thanks, she is in assisted living with hospice care. She's been on hospice for at least 10 days now and so far they have only been out once to see her.
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Daughterof1930 Jul 31, 2018
There are many stories on this site of hospice being excellent for seniors in their time of need. With my mom, it was a disaster. She was in a nursing home and when we involved hospice the staff of the nursing, who had been providing really good care, used hospice as an excuse not to do anything with mom. Everything became “we have to wait on hospice” Couldn’t bathe her, had to wait on hospice, couldn’t bandage her, had to wait on hospice. And hospice was very unpredictable and unreliable as to when they’d show up. We canceled hospice within weeks and mom’s care from the nursing home staff returned to being good. Just a personal experience
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Is this assisted living or a nursing home? It sounds beyond the level of care often provided at assisted living places and more like she needs nursing home care. At any rate, I hope you’ll contact the ombudsman or whoever else in charge to report the conditions you’ve found mom in, you may save a life. Hope someone else with good answer to your questions will answer soon
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