My whole family is (everyone in the family) going on a vacation to the beach very soon. We asked my mom if she would like to join us but she said no thank you. All because she refuses to leave her dog. She’s very stubborn. We told her she could bring the dog but she still won’t go.
See the problem she has a lot of chronic problems. She’s in chronic A-Fib with her heart, diabetic (takes insulin when she remembers) she was also diagnosed with Dementia. Her list of problems is very large. I can see that each day she’s getting weaker, her hands shake a lot and her walking is unstable at times. She has also fallen several times. She uses a cane but not indoors.
When we lost my dad we had her move in with us, so I am her main caregiver. I refused too have my parents go to any type of home bc I have worked in them and saw too much. So I am her main caregiver and my husband helps me too. I don’t get any other help from my family.
The reason I am feeling guilty is bc I don’t want to leave and something happen to her. I will be at least 9 + hours away. However I have a new grand baby and REALLY want to spend time with him. I also have been working full time on call on the weekends so I really feel like I need this break. I just feel so horrible about leaving her alone. I keep thinking about all the “ what if’s “ and it really doesn’t help bc I am a medical professional so I really do understand what could happen if she forgot’s to take her meds or falls or takes her insulin and doesn’t eat. There’s so many to text but I think you understand. BTW she won’t wear a medical alert to help with the falls. My husband is there most of the time except for when he has too work.
I really don’t have any one that could come over and check on her. Unless I can get Homecare but this would just make her mad and I am not sure I want anyone in here that I don’t know or trust with out me here to keep an eye on the person. I am stuck with all these thoughts in my head.
I know it sounds like I am being greedy but there’s been so much that has happened in my life in the past couple years. I have had a decline in my health. I have been diagnosed with a couple different chronic problems that are pretty serious but I get up every day and push through work and everything I have to do after work. So I really feel like this vacation will help me kind of put things into perspective for me while spending quality time with my family that I don’t see much.
I really need an outsider opinion on this. I really do appreciate ANY and ALL feedback bc I am tearing myself apart here.
Thank you for letting me vent.
Have a good day.