I need advice on caring for a 88 yr old lady? - AgingCare.com

I need advice on caring for a 88 yr old lady?

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The niece and the niece's boyfriend lived in my Aunt's home taking care of my Aunt until they went bad.Let's call it caregivers gone bad.I learned they was steeling and selling my Aunt's stuff,Writing them selves checks from my Aunt's check book.And learned that they was beating my Aunt.While they was so called taking care of my Aunt.I learned that my Aunt made so many 911 calls to the police that the police warned my Aunt if anymore 911 calls was made they will contact APS.At that time I had no idea what was going on.The first red flag was when I learned that they removed the Aunt's house phone from the wall so she can't dial 911 anymore.After that is when I decided to call APS's.The police and APS's arrested both of them for battery.There's more to this story but,I rather not waste my time explaining it all.I became my Aunt's DPOA and caregiver because,there is knowone else welling to stepup to this plate.Everyone else is affraid to go to jail if they attempt to help her.
My aunt's desire is to live alone in her home.That's my job to help her do that but,not so easy anymore.I can't do everything anymore to much work and time for me.I don't get paid to help her and she's not my Mother and she never had kids of her own.She's lonely and has knowone to help her.That's the result of not having children.My Aunt thinks I should help her for free.Where she ever got that idea who knows.But,it's costing me money out of my own pocket to help her.And she don't reinburse me at all.At the start,I felt sorry for her because,of what all she has been thru.But,I can't keep doing all of this for free anymore.She is a very hateful person.You can only blame so much on dementia.Seems it's not easy to find help for me to care for her.She had service people coming to help her until they found how hateful she is.Now the nurces and health care ladies refuse to help her.People try to help her but,she don't answer her door to let them in to help her.I learned she has a service called INCARE that comes to help her thru medicare.But,I never seen hied or hair of anyone going to see her.And I see my Aunt every other day.Sometimes I think this INCARE service gets paid for not coming to help her.If a INCARE lady has a problem dealing with my Aunt you would think they would send someone else to do the job.I'm the DPOA but,knowone has ever contacted me.Her doctor knows I'm the DPOA.I need someone to come do her loundry and clean the house and bath her.Who do I need to call?Is it covered by Medicare part B?

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make her do a carer agreement and pay you a reasonable fee for your help. enough money in fact to give a kid or two some hired housecleaning work. kids need income opportunities bad right now.
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I, personally, would resign as DPOA. But, then, your aunt may be open to more people bilking and harming her. She may need nursing home care. Is she on Medicaid?
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That's Canada not US.But,you did give me a idea on what to do.I will call APS thanks!
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Ok dogabone, contact APS and arrange a meeting with them so you can go through all is happening. They and their social workers will at least be able to give you some advice as to what can best be done. Here in Canada a POA enables you to attend to their health need decisions, deal with finances and, if necessary sell the house. Nowhere does it say you have to be a running abused doormat.
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Ashlynne,
What you say to do will that get me in trouble as her DPOA?That's what I'm worried about.
Everyday my wife & I was going to see her and help her with things.It came to the point to where the Aunt was being mean to us as very hateful.The wife & I thought that maybe we was going over to see her too much.So we slowed down on seeing her as started making it every three days or so.But,with her dementia she forgets we came to see her.If we don't go see her.Knowone else will.
You say to stop going to help her and wait for APS's to step in.That's fine as long as APS's don't point the finger at me the DPOA.I must say that becoming a Power of attorney is pointless and worthless to do.I haven't found one good reason yet that this DPOA is helping me care for my Aunt.I think a POA is only for someone to point the finger towards when theirs a problem.Becuase,without POA there is knowone to point the finger towards.
I want to stop going to help her.That way my Aunt will realize what we are really worth to her.But,by us attempting to stop going to help her will make me look bad as her DPOA and caregiver.The first thing APS's will ask her is who is the feller taking care of you?And there is where the finger get's pointed towards for her living conditions.If your telling me that a DPOA is untouchable from APS's then by all means I will stop going to help her and let the ball roll?
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Dogabone all you can do is keep your distance, maybe run errands and visit once or twice a week. The house will very quickly become filthy and unsafe and she may even fall, be deemed to need care 24/7 and go to a nursing home. Sounds harsh but you can't help someone who refuses to be helped. Once she and the house are in a bad way then call APS and let them deal with it. You've done all you can.
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