Need advice about a situation with my parents' home companion. Am I allowed to ask this companion what her agency's name is? - AgingCare.com

Need advice about a situation with my parents' home companion. Am I allowed to ask this companion what her agency's name is?

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Some background: My aunt (my dad's sister) hired a home companion for my parents (mostly for my dad) when my dad had a routine surgery, as well as to provide other home care. The worker is there 12 hrs a day, 7 days a week, and she does meals (my mom always did this) & light cleaning, but most of the time, she sits on the sofa doing nothing. She doesn't have a car to do errands for them (her husband drives her & picks her up). One time, my parents had to go out, and that worker was in their home all by herself for hours, and I'm not sure if that was a good idea to leave her alone in their home, since she's brand new, and my parents don't really know her yet. My parents are both able-bodied & don't need assistance with walking, bathing, eating or dressing at this time. However, because my aunt wasn't happy with how the house was not clean when she visited or that my dad looks "frail," she hired this worker full time for the rest of my parents' lives. Before she hired the companion, she never discussed this with my parents or with my siblings and me so that we could all make a decision together. My aunt had promised to call me on a certain date to tell me more info, but she blew me off. My aunt is the type who wants to be in control. My parents are not happy (they feel like they have a guest in their home) and want this companion gone after my dad no longer needs help post-surgery, but the companion thinks she's staying until my parents die. My mother is more able-bodied than I am. I talk on the phone with my parents every day, and I will be moving in sometime this year. If anything, my parents could benefit from someone coming once a week to help clean the house. Maybe they could use help with errands, but this worker doesn't do errands. Anyway, the 1st week that the companion was in their home, I called and introduced myself. I asked the worker for the name of her agency, and she told me that she forgot the name, that she left their business card at home. Shouldn't she have that info with her, in case of an emergency or at least know the agency's name by heart? My parents don't even know the name of her agency. So a week later, I called and spoke with her again. I was very polite & nice when speaking with her. I asked her what her position is (at that time I didn't know her title). She hesitated, and then said "Companion." I then asked her whether she's licensed or certified. Silence on her end for several seconds, and then she said "yes." I asked, "are you certified or licensed?" She responded with attitude in her voice, "Why are you asking me these questions?" I replied in a nice, calm tone, "Because I am my parents' daughter who is helping them, and I'm just asking simple questions." I then asked her, "What is your agency's name?" She responded with some rude tone in her voice, "I don't think I should answer to you, because you didn't employ me. Call your aunt and ask her." What do you all think: Were my questions inappropriate (I hope they weren't)? Why was she so defensive & not forthcoming with info? It's not like I was asking if she does drugs or has kids. If a contractor is working in my parents' home, he/she will gladly supply me with his/her business address, phone # & license #. When I told my parents that she refused to provide answers, they were upset & said that they want me to ask questions like this & to help them. I really don't know what to do (and with my aunt taking control). I'm heartbroken that my parents are unhappy. My parents don't want the companion in their home after my dad no longer needs post-surgery help, yet my aunt hired her to be in my parents' home until they die, which could be 10+ years from now. My aunt isn't paying for this service. And the way the companion talked back to me on the phone and refused to provide her agency's name or allowed me to ask any basic questions doesn't seem right to me. We think that the companion is under some contract...so how will my parents' get her out of their home? My parents don't recall signing any contract with an agency. My aunt did all of this without their agreement. Thank you for any help or advice.

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I just saw this thread but in the future if anything like the caregiver happens again, you can turn the caregiver into your state agency. Her spouse and friends are not allowed to know where clients live. It is a violation of HIPPA laws and that is a valid termination reason.
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Reply to tacy022
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Yes, that home companion is back. I'm almost afraid to post on here, because of the bad situation, and what if one of "them" reads my posts?! I cannot understand why my aunt would turn on me, except to take complete control and try to make me look terrible to get me out of my parents' lives. How sickening!!!

I feel sick about this right now, but I will try to get back on here tomorrow or the next day when I have more energy (I'm so stressed and sad), but I just wanted to reach out tonight. I have nobody here that I can trust. I cannot stand people who lie (and lie about me or my parents) to gain something. I could never do that to someone.

Have a nice 4th of July.
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Reply to mooncatzzz
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Your aunt can't "get" POA over your parents, they would have to grant it. If they haven't signed any documents appointing your aunt then the document she is working with is fraudulent, if she somehow tricked or coerced your parents then they can simply revoke her POA and write a new one. 3 months ago I questioned how competent your parents really were to manage their own affairs, this snafu once again makes me wonder. I think it is past time you took on a greater role in managing your parent's daily lives, and limited their contact with auntie dearest.
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Reply to cwillie
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Another thing ... you might want to start a new thread with a new question, when you describe your current situation in more detail. Unless the home companion is still an issue?
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Reply to Mooserix
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Mooncatzzz, hang in there, and tell us more about the situation. Have you been to visit your parents recently? What is your aunt doing with your parents' finances and household that you don't agree without? What has your aunt been saying about you to others? You might have to wait a bit for replies, as lots of people are having family gatherings today for Independence Day, but be assured that people will read what you write.
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Reply to Mooserix
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I've never felt so alone in my life. I never thought that a relative who I trusted, who I thought we loved each other, could be so spiteful all of a sudden. My aunt had gotten power of attorney a few months ago, but she never told me about it even though I tried to talk with her. She knows that I've been very close with my parents for many years (is she threatened or fearful of this? Is she after my dad's money?). My dad & mom told me that they want me to take care of them, but somehow aunt got POA and is now controlling my parents' financial matters and their household. She is telling strangers lies about me to turn them against me and so that they will not talk to me about anything that is happening in my parents' house. Why would she be telling lies about me now all of a sudden? I am broken up about this and feel sick to my stomach & worried about my parents. I will try to write more later, but now I am exhausted and shocked, and I don't know if anyone will see this post.
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Reply to mooncatzzz
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Great? I agree with one poster, the woman is an illegal. No reg aid would work 7 days a week 12 hours a day.

Before Moms memory problems get worse you need to get POAs for both of them. Medical and Financial. You can use what your Aunt did as an example why. It would be interesting to know how the woman was being paid. Even $5 an hour is $60 a day $420 for the week. Unless your Aunt has money, that's a lot. Better make sure Aunt Doesn't have excess to ur parents money. Yes, and make sure there is a will in place and updated. Sooner better than later. Elderly health problems can change overnight. I drummed it into my Mother's head not to talk to telemarketers or answer the door to strangers. Told her to tell people, my daughter handles that. She did, I was lucky.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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It may be time to pull a little fib with aunty. You can double check with the department of labor which you can call. Ask them what the maximum number of hours to work without a day off. They may answer that one day off a week is mandatory. Then tell aunty that you suspect that the companion is an illegal alien and that you will be notifying ICE if no one is providing an agency name
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Reply to MACinCT
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I have a bit of a problem accepting that your parents are 100% with it mentally, it just isn't normal for them to be so completely overwhelmed by this; perhaps aunt is seeing problems you are not?
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Reply to cwillie
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Tell your dad a therapeutic lie: that in order to prove that everything is in order so the agency won't come back, he has to get the DPOA, AD and Bank account POA in order for both of them. The book Being Mortal by Atul Gwande has a news show video online to help with advance directive. Then go to a good estate planning attorney. Top priority!!
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Reply to surprise
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