The lady that I care for in my home is 95. My husband and I have taken care of her and her farm for over 20 years. She has been able to live on her own until last Sept. She was in the hospital for a week with congestive heart failure, kidney failure and several other things. She was in such shape that she and her dr decided she should be on hosparus. It didn't look good for her. But as time went on she started improving. She Is still not able to live on her own and will probably never be able to. Our youngest daughter is getting married in less than 3 weeks. The wedding is out of town. I have someone to care for her for 2 days but I would like to have the whole week. I just need a break. I feel guilty and don't know how to tell her. She doesn't even know we are planning on sending her anywhere. I don't think she realizes we're going to have to be gone for 2 days
I think that you should take the week and try to enjoy every minute. You will return refreshed and that's good for everyone involved. Congratulations on your youngest daughters upcoming nuptials!
You probably know this woman well enough to be correct in your prediction. She will be mad. That is Not Your Fault. It is her impairments that are preventing her from living on her own, not you. Reassure her how much you care, and that you will be back. Let her be mad, but don't take it personally. Enjoy your week away!
Of course you deserve a break! Take a break often. You don't have to go out of town but take an afternoon for yourself. Are you able to find care for this old gal while you're gone?
I agree about not springing it on her way ahead of time. She may fret and work herself up into an agitated state which you will have to deal with. But you don't want to wait till the last minute either. 3 days might be a good amount time to give her a heads up. Much of it depends upon her temperament and how she deals with things.
I will take your advice and tell her about 3 days ahead of time. She will be mad. There's no doubt about that. But I guess she'll get over it. Thanks to all of you. It's nice having somebody to talk to.