Are we nearing the end?

It might be 'near the end' OR it might be the dementia escalating. Spend some time with her at meal times (You can ask for a mask if you think you are getting a cold). I've watched the aides at the memory care center cajole the residents into eating some of their meals. Some of the shake type supplements can be passed off as a 'milk shake' you brought for her. (Get it cold though). Apple sauce and puddings can go down easily. Keep trying different items and you may get her past this phase.BTW, the staff should be able to tell you the weights. Palliative care doesn't mean we can't try to encourage them to eat. If you don't have any success, at least you will know you tried.

You do not need to feel guilty for letting nature take it's course. How about a conversation with her about how she feels, how she feels about dying, what she really thinks she wants to do? Of course none of it may make sense, but it is her life. Make sure she suffers as little as possible, mentally, emotionally and physically. Maybe hospice can help....

Ensure now makes a protein supplement that for all intents and purposes looks like fruit juice. You may have to purchase it yourself if they don't provide it where she's living.

Constipation is often caused by narcotic medication - is she on something for pain?

Taste, buds wane as humans age, even more so with dementia. My aunt lost your ability to taste and enjoy food almost overnight when she had three little strokes, which were in no way obvious by the way, and they affected the area of her brain that controlled her taste buds.

My mother lost her sense of taste several years ago but hasn't lost weight because her sweetness taste buds do work yet. That's what dementia does. There is a resident at her AL that refused to eat and she was given Ensure 2 or 3 times a day. The staff made her come to the dining room to be social. Recently I saw Miss Dolly actually pick up her fork to put some food in her mouth. Now she eats something every day, even if it's a small amount. I agree with the "Milk Shake" idea, you might try yogurt also. McDonalds makes a yummy $1.00 breakfast yogurt with fruit and crunchy topping.

When was the last time she went to the dentist? Is it possible that she has some tooth or gum trouble that has caused her general disinterest in food? It's worth looking into just to cover all your bases.

My 88 year old father has Parkinson's and other issues, and stopped eating much for a time, and meal time is his favorite time. The doctor ordered a shallow test, and found out that he was having trouble swallowing a certain texture of food, and that water was even hard to swallow. The facility had to change his food, and had to add a mixture to his water so he could swallow it. He was getting so dehydrated and stop drinking, now with the small changes, he is able to eat again. Have you had a protein shake or two added to her daily intake. Most give around 20 to 30 grams of protein, and helps put nutrition back into there diet. It sounds like she may be giving up, you need to talk to her, and maybe talk to her doctor, if she is letting go, she may feel that there is nothing she can do, maybe some positive changes to her food intake, and someone to talk to, could help her.

Lostfamily my mother is in a nursing home where the staff are wonderful and there is an on call/visiting doctor from a hospital 4 km away. The nursing home calls me for every little thing but, even though I am the only family and POA I'm not allowed to even give her an aspirin without their doctor agreeing and providing it.

Here once you go into a nursing home you don't keep your own doctor - her previous doctor is now 85km away from her in any event. Even if she were able to have a doctor locally I can't lift her into my truck and the nursing home staff are not allowed to do so.

As far as meals are concerned she can feed herself but for those that can't there is a separate dining room where residents are fed by staff one on one. Believe me, if her teeth were giving her trouble she'd be all over me like a dirty shirt.

She's given protein shakes several times a day but mostly refuses to drink them. She likes apple juice drinking boxes and I make sure she always has plenty on hand. She often refuses to go for meals but the staff insist and make her sit at table even if she only has a juice. You can't force her to eat.

What she did on Christmas Day was what she does every day, mostly watch tv and sleep. There are a lot of activities at the nursing home but she's always been something of a hermit and has never joined in. I call her every day, though she has a habit of answering then, confused, putting it down and leaving it off the hook for hours. I haven't visited for over a week as I've a bad cold and, as you may be aware, there's a virulent strain of the N1H1 flu virus sweeping across Canada.

First of all, I would like to say I respect the sanctity of human life. Secondly, dying is the price we pay for having the opportunity to live. Thirdly, we need to be careful that we are not prolonging death instead of prolonging life. It is for the individual and family to decide. Forcing food on someone whose body is shutting down may not be the best thing to do. To keep them free from pain and assuring them they are loved may be more advantageous. Hospice may be able to help you.

Wise words skinonna very wise words

What does her doctor say? Does he/she think she needs to be on Hospice? Maybe the blood thinners need to be adjusted. Just because she eats cookies, does not mean that she isn't having problems eating other foods. Why isn't she drinking daily or twice daily protein drinks, a person can substance, even if she is a vegetarian on these drinks. She may have to move to an facility that can give her more of a level care. Please, do not take this wrong, but it sounds like she needs someone to coordinate her care, it sounds like there are a lot of different things that need to be watched, and that she is not getting that help from the facility, it sounds like she is living in an assistant living facility and not a nursing home that has a staff that can handle her medical needs. She needs to have more assistance, and if you are not able to do it yourself, you may want to do some research and talk to the doctor about your concerns. If you are not the one who goes with her to the doctor, maybe you should. I do not see anything with what she did on Christmas Day, sounds like she needs assistance other than just an alarm. My dad has staff in his room several times a day, they help him get dressed, shower, shave, they change his catheter bag, and if he can not make it to the dinning room they bring him a tray to his room, and will sit and talk to him while he eats. Is your mom in a facility that deals with dementia patients? It sounds like the staff is not trained to handle people with dementia.