Sorry for the book..
My girlfriend and I have moved her 60yr old mother, Amy, in to our apartment. I am 25 and my girlfriend, Brianna, is 24. Amy was living in a trailer that should have been condemned a long time ago. She has neuropathy in her legs and struggles to get around. She doesn't work, and hasn't for about 15 years.
When Brianna and I found out how bad her living conditions actually were (noticed when repairs were being done) we made the decision to move her in with us, since Brianna promised her mom that she would never put her in a home. She has no other children or siblings, so it fell to Brianna and I. We both feel like we are being played. Amy is very selfish, rude, lazy, and a type of woe-is-me person. She is very negative. She plays the pity card every time you turn around. She is constantly repeating herself, but to the point where it is noticeable that she knows she's doing it. Something is always wrong with her. Granted, I know that she has some medical issues, but she is exaggerating. Not only that but she exaggerates everything. She waddles when she walks because her legs are constantly hurting her because of her neuropathy. Just the other day, Brianna was sitting on the couch and her mom came walking out of her room, like nothing was ever wrong with her. She was practically fast walked to the kitchen. But as soon as she saw Brianna sitting on the couch, it was back to her hobbling. Everything is about her, especially if you tell her something that happened to you. All of the stories she tells are about how when she was young, drinking and doing drugs. If she suggests that you do something a specific way and you tell her that you're going to do it, but a different way, she pouts and always says the infamous "Oh, well, alright, I was only trying to help" and storms off or "I guess I just won't say anything anymore" and storms off. I just don't know what to do any more.
I attend college full time and work a full time job. Brianna has two jobs and is wanting a third just to be away from OUR home, where she is. We are trying to save for a house together, but it is difficult because we are having to pay for everything she needs (like meds, toiletries, etc) because she blows what money she does have on tobacco, rolling tubes, and groceries (that only she can eat and they go bad).
Her days are spent laying in bed, yelling at her dog (not that she takes care of her, that is left up to us), and sitting on the patio chain smoking. She refuses to learn anything new, especially technology, and has no desire to do anything. Trust me, we have tried. Nice outing? No, her stomach hurts. Okay. Playing cards? No, she's tired. Dinner out? No, she doesn't feel like it. Dinner in? Oh, I already ate/ I don't eat that. When she does want to go somewhere, I'm expected to play taxi because we can only afford one car at the moment. It feels like we can't win.
I feel like we are still so young to be having her mother live with us. But what are our options besides a nursing home? As bad as this is going to sound, she could be with us for the next 30 years! That is the entire first half of our life, gone. Just putting this in writing is not doing justice to how poorly we are treated and taken advantage of.. Especially Brianna.. Nothing is ever good enough for her mother..
I am just at a loss. Any advice, comments, criticisms, etc are gladly welcomed.