During a weak moment, I moved in with my 95 year-old-mother. She was afraid of staying alone, as well as fear following my father's death. She appointed my brother, who is a disabled utility worker, her financial/medical POA. I am a retired registered nurse. This has been the absolute worse two-years of my life! They lie, steal and are master manipulators. I overheard one of their private conversations. My mother asked my brother if he had "everything." He responds: Yes. She then says: No matter what, even if she begs you, don't you give her anything, not even a dirty-penny: let her starve! Nope, no dementia... just plain vicious meanness.
I took care of my father. I cook daily, care for the home, do laundry, shop and drive her around like ms daisy. She has always treated me like the family scapegoat and because I loved my father, I just turned the other way. Her level of criticism, judgment and slights is staggering and, until recently, I hadn't realized how it has affected my health. Here we are in the middle of a pandemic and I am trapped in this house with her and daily visits from her flying monkey. I planned on moving to Arizona, but with this world-wide crisis, relocating to isolate would be impossible. I just don't know what to do. :(.
Start doing some research on housing in the area ur interested in. You can deal with realtors by email and phone. See if you can rent a place by month until u find what you want. Keep this all to yourself until ur ready to leave. Then just walk away and don't look back. Mom has her son and he can care for her. Its only been two years that u have invested. A lot easier to leave.
It's hard, but you can't change how other people (even family) feel or talk about you. It's disgusting that parents speak negatively about their child to their sibling and maybe others. I'm sorry that's happening to you. You don't have to move out of state to get away from them, but it may make it easier to have them completely out of your life, though that's sad, too, I know. Don't share anything specific about your life with them whether you move out of state or not. Don't name or take any friends or others around them either since they've proven to be poison to you.
Good luck.
Thank you!
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