What can I do when my narcissistic father will not allow me to visit mom? - AgingCare.com

What can I do when my narcissistic father will not allow me to visit mom?


My father is 81 mom is 77. I am an adult child and my father ,to hurt me, will not allow me to visit my mom. Is there any laws about this as she is in advanced stage of dementia. He won't talk to me although I took them to the hospital 4 times this year and my brother has not been down once ,yet my father never abuses him. I just want to see my mom. My father won't put mom in assisted living and she is in advanced stage of dementia. What are the Pinellas county laws? Please help me.

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Yes, some states have laws regarding denying visitation.

Specifically- the daughters of famed American Top 40 disc jockey, Casey Kasem have been working to pass laws in this area as a result of their fathers wife denying them visitation and actually going as far as hiding their father from them. Several states have passed the law and it is pending in many others. You might want to check out their site to see how it may effect you. The site is Kasemcares.org
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1. Do not ask permission to see your Mom. Just tell him that you expect to see her at least X times a month.
2. Tell him the day you will come and show up earlier than you stated.
3. Isolation is elder abuse by definition.
Also, please consider the local health deparment/human services, they can assist with this situation.
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thanks barbbrooklyn, the thing about a narcissistic father who is the primary caregiver does take good care of ....minus the shower,bath which we all tried but he puts on a great facade, that's what they do. My mother's best friend who lives in jersey is no longer friends with him, as she heard him and received an email about how bad I was. She knows better. although it's hard for mom to form sentences she always mentions me. I have txt him daily "when would be a good time for me to see mom", always w/ an answer she is sleeping. He would not let me see her mother's day via my brother to me.My bro lives out of state and hasn't been down here once this year or for the overnight hospital visits yet he is the golden child. My parents have no friends that visit. His verbal abuse is out of control, I just heard if I keep "this" up he will put a restrainig order on me??..There is no reason as I've been there for him.Now, I can't even look at him but yet the non vivisitor gets NO abuse. Now I am in depresión mode. It was her birthday Mon. and I asked a week before if I could spend it with her.....of course they had "plans". IF MY MOM KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON SHE WOULD BE CRAZED. but I'm not sure if he has power of attorney and I read somewhere that there's also medical power of attorney if next of kin is the same ....thank you for your support !!by the way my email is Brooklyn babe.....
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If you believe that your mother is not getting adequate care, you can call their local Area Agency on Aging and ask for a wellness check.
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