She can't help her behaviors but she doesn't act out for my bf as for me somehow I believe Doris still knows right from wrong just with no filter left to maintain controll of her thoughts and actions. She is so different with my boyfriend than with me. whenever Steve is not around her demenor changes all the things she says and does around him are a complete 180 when his back is turned and she becomes nasty and violent. All of the things he had to change in her home for us to care for her she thinks i did and thinks i am tryimg to come between them. I am the one that told him to get her home for both their sakes. The facility she was in was no longer affordable and he has gone bankrupt trying to pay the extra 1,500 a month to keep her there,she only gets a little ss not enough to pay for the Really NIce Facility,it was home or skilled nursing facility. I know it is a challenge and it is not my family but they need help and i love them and placed myself in a position to be able to give her 24 hr protective and loving care. It has also become more of a challenge because she was never violent until 3 days after coming home . Steve can not do this himself and does not have the money anymore to take care of her without throwing his own (our) lives in a downward bankrupt spiral so we are trying to care for her off of her budget as much as possible. I hope that did not sound selfish not ment to be we still pay for a lot of things and do not mind. We relocated to her state, it was killing him to go to Ca from Az everyother week physically and financially

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Thank You MishkaM! My bf lost his Mom 6yrs ago and now is responsible for Gma. I feel like he does believe me but, I think it's hard for him because he has always feared and respected Gma. She wore the pants in their family. I don't want to show anyone the film if I do it, I just feel like I need to cover my ace because of the lies ,violent episodes,just the overall craziness she shows for me only. Last time she was charging me and throwing stuff everywhere she hit her wrist on her walker and got a little contusion.... I don't want him or anyone else to think I did that or any of the other silly crap she says about me. I feel bad I even want to tape her because I know she can't help it and the dignity issues it poses...... Thank you for listening!!!!! Oh.. btw,we should get the result of her MRI soon so we will know exactly whats up with Grams. We took her and paid out of (our) pocket 300.00 to Neuro,242.00 lab,550.00 MRI all because her primary PCP will not order any dementia type related tests. She has MCR and this crazy Kaiser 2ndary so we are unable to file since we took her on our own outside of Kaiser to a REAL doctor! Her pcp says he does not believe in treating AD type stuff cause the outcome is the same they get worse etc.. what an ahole for a dr! she had this guy before we got envolved and we are going to have to wait til open enrollment for mcr supplements... all new to us but we are learning quickly.....
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Hi gonenutz, here are my thoughts --yes, you could get a nanny cam to show your bf how hard his mom( his mom, right?) is one you but why is he just not believing you? Maybe ask him that first(?) . He should trust your judgment. I worry that he might get resentful if you nanny cam his Mom and make him watch it. I can totally see why you would want to though!!! Can you get him to look on this site and see that people with dementia can totally act different with different people? There are a lot of stories about that. Does she have Alzheimer's? Because, I think, there is even a term -show ---something for this kind of duplicitous behavior. BUT , this is just a thought. I don't know what you are going through and maybe I am way off in saying not to nanny cam her yet. You sound like a very caring person. Sometimes the most caring of people get treated the worst, it seems.
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