Nana dying at home.


Hi everyone, I'm new here and I have a question about my nana.
She is 91 and currently bedridden at home receiving palliative care (by me and a once a day nurse). She has a morphine pump for pain.
She gave up the will to live about 4 months ago when my grandpa passed away. But we all rallied to keep her strong and eating.
However over a week ago she completely stopped eating. Has lost control over her bodily functions and has to wear a diaper now. She's confused, her hearing is worse.
We found out the other day she has a myriad of intestinal problems, including a twisted bowel, internal bleeding and strangulated hernia. Her stomach is very painful, hard and swollen. She is too weak and all her doctors refuse to operate.
She doesn't want to go to the hospital anyway. She wants to die at home and be with grandpa. She tells us all every day how she hopes she doesn't wake up. It's awful. She doesn't understand why she has to go through this.
She went about 4 days with no water and her doctor had said she would pass away before Tuesday. However this weekend she wanted apple juice. She has a bit every day. I would say 6 ounces daily. But she only uses 1-2 diapers a day. They are always dry.
She hates this. Every day is worse. But her drinking is going to drag this on, her doctor has said.
I just want it to be over to be over for her, it's day 8 and she seems the same. I guess I want to know how long this could go on for with only apple juice? She's tired and it's getting harder and harder to watch.

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Look up the YouTube video with Barbara Karnes, "Gone From My Sight". It's about 90 minutes long and very well explains the dying process.
Helpful Answer (1)

You've been given good advice. Hospice will take over all the notification tasks once Nana passes, and that is a good help.
Helpful Answer (0)

I echo everyone's suggestion to get hospice involved if you don't have them already. They generally provide an aide for 2 hrs on weekdays. In addition, a nurse will assess and be on call. The nurse will give you some meds in a locked box and tell you when to administer them. Often, hospice groups provide spiritual guidance as well. When your Nana's time on earth is over, you would then call the hospice group.
Just talk with your Nana during these final days. Tell her some of the fun things you did with her. Let her know how much you love her. Good luck, please come back with updates.
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Her time is very close, sometimes they rally before the end. Soon she will pass into a coma, and have a peaceful death. You should have hospice to help you. She can be on morphine and anti anxiety drugs. I am proud of you sweetheart, most people would run screaming away from the dying patient. Don't call 911, let her pass. Enjoy every minute, tell her how much you love her, and all she has done for you. She will still hear you even in a coma. Time is precious now. We are here for you.
Helpful Answer (1)

What you're going through is so difficult.

The small sips of apple juice might be enough to keep her mouth moist but aren't really enough to keep her hydrated.

Her body knows what it's doing, it's going through a process. When the process is complete she'll let go. It's inevitable. Until then keep her comfortable, make sure any pain she may be having is under control, and continue to give her little sips of juice if she wants it. She's on a journey now and there's no changing it.
Helpful Answer (4)

Hi Natalie, is hospice helping you out? Reach out to them and they will be able to help you. They are trained professionals and they are very sensitive to your needs at this point.
Many hugs, hoping to send some comfort to you,
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Natalie, I am so sorry. I wish there was something that could make it easier. The only thing that helped me when my father died was to realize that I was powerless to help and that everything was in God's hands. I took comfort in that, even though I'm not a religious person. All we can do is wait and hope that we bring comfort in some small way. I am so sorry that she is going through this. It can be very difficult for the spirit to leave the body. I hope her suffering will be behind her soon.
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