It is common practice that AL's and NH's have one main contact person and an alternate who would only be called if they can not reach #1. From their point of view contacting the POA or designated person fulfills their duty.
For what it is worth --- when I arranged for Mom's Assisted Living Memory care (as POA and Health Care proxy) I was asked who would be permitted to visit, take her out, etc. I was THE contact --- per their procedures. When I went out of town, I left alternate instructions. And, in fact, they always had the order of whom to call until they reached a live person. When MIL recently hit her final days in AL and was rushed to the hospital (this was a different facility) They took the time to call each of the 4 sibs to give them this news.
It sounds like things didn't work out for you at the end. It could have been their practice to just call their primary contact, things might have gotten lost in the haste of the moment, or a dozen other causes. Since this can't be undone, try to put it behind you. It will free you to grieve your loss and ultimately move on with your life.
When MIL recently hit her final days in AL and was rushed to the hospital (this was a different facility) They took the time to call each of the 4 sibs to give them this news.
It sounds like things didn't work out for you at the end. It could have been their practice to just call their primary contact, things might have gotten lost in the haste of the moment, or a dozen other causes. Since this can't be undone, try to put it behind you. It will free you to grieve your loss and ultimately move on with your life.