My younger sister is manipulating my elderly mother with her decisions, how do I stop her? (in CA)

You only receive an inheritance upon death. Your parents built their equity and they need to spend down in illness including anything from a home. Your sister appears to be doing the right thing. Remember that she is most likely doing the grunt work that you are watching from afar and doing nothing to help her. She has to keep records of expenses when the spend down is complete so that they qualify for Medicaid and us taxpayers contribute for her care. You say AL so I assume that is going to happen. Either that or your parents pay the sister to take care of them and your sister will need to pay taxes on income from your parents. IF she does something wrong then there are penalties to the Medicaid application. If you want to take over finances, then move back and apply for guardianship and conservatorship. This may be difficult if eather parent is still of sound mind.This will need to be done close to your parents location. Or by your other sister if she can do it.

The person named as DPOA when the mother was well enough and competent enough to designate someone while of sound mind will be the one to handle the sale of the home, the accounting of every penny into and out of Mom's accounts, and for keeping records of same.

If no POA has been named then see an Elder Law Attorney in that state for advice and options. Normally this would involve the sibling living nearby and involved in the parent's lives, AS WELL AS best capable to keep meticulous records as REQUIRED OF A GUARDIAN/conservator under the law. This person must apply in court with the proper records (2 MDs, one a neuro-psych attesting that the patient is no longer of sound mind and requires placement and conservatorship).

If the remaining siblings do not trust the sibling appointed by either the parent or the courts they have a right to see THEIR OWN attorney and to file with the court so that the records will be examined for accurancy and honesty.

You have a 100 year old father in care already. The mother will now also enter care. Unless there was enormous wealth, I cannot imagine that much will be left over to split three ways, but I know nothing about amounts of wealth involved. If there IS a great amount of wealth then see an attorney to protect the assets of this couple, to pay for their care in a good facility, and protect any inheritance that might be left over at their demise.

All of this will be exceptionally difficult to do from another country, as you can well imagine. Best of luck to you.

I

Who holds the DPOA? Also, it expires when the person dies, then the PR of the estate steps in.

In any case, all proceeds from the house sale and their investments are to be used for their well-being. They will not be Medicaid approved, they will be self pay until their money runs out.

Need more information to be able to respond further.

Welcome, BH!

Who holds your parents' Power of Attorney?

Who is arranging for your parents to go to Assisted Living?

It certainly would be nice if you and your sisters could get together on a Zoom call and hash out next steps.

If your parents only have SS and a house, it is highly likely that they will end up needing Medicaid to pay for facility care. You would do well to find out if mom's state pays for AL at all, possibly through a waiver program. Consultation with a qualified Elder Law attorney would be prudent so that you all understand how using your parents' assets for care works.

It is highly unlikely that there will be any "inheritance " after your parents pay for facility care.