My wife wants to have sex with me. We haven't touched each other that way for over 3 years. She's not able to move around to much so I don't know if she'd be comfortable. I'm not sure what to do at this point.
I don't see where Jack is saying he's 'not interested', just that he is not sure what to do at this point.
I would just try kissing her intimately. Let things go from there, with no expectations for an end result. Just allow the intimacy to return to BOTH of your lives. Lie next to her and cuddle her, kiss her, and take things very very slowly. You may both feel like taking things further, and then you can let nature take its course. If not, try again at another time. But at least you'll have invited closeness back into your lives and that's a GOOD thing, even if it doesn't end up with sexual intercourse.
You say in your profile anxiety and "other". Does your wife have Dementia? If she does, this turns a lot of caregivers off. Illnesses in themselves do. Caregiver is tired and last thing they are thinking about is sex. And what kind of partner will you be if really not interested. Is it the actual act she wants or just closeness.
A Dementia seems to heighten the sex response. But there is nothing wrong in not wanting to engage in it. I wouldn't be interested either.
You sound like you might be younger than most on this forum. I’m in my 30s. My husband became sick about 6 years ago, and it was hard for me to be intimate with him after becoming his caregiver. However, I recognized it as one way to show love and have a connection with him.
There are many ways to be intimate that are sexual, but aren’t actually sex. Kissing, laying together, massage, hand jobs for either, etc. Maybe you can figure out something that would work for both of you.
I kind of think sex is a two way street. You both have to "want it". So I would talk with her to tell her that you have kind of "lost it" over the two or three years and just no longer feel even cuddly. That you are sorry and care for her, but somehow all the rest has just "gone away" with time. It isn't something that you desire. Not everything can be made right and perfect in relationships. Speak with your MD or she can speak with hers. Consider couples counseling; some who specialize in this work give exercises that start you out slow. You know, handholding 101. Like learning to "date" again. I think after all is tried, you may come out still scratching your head. Not everything can be fixed, sadly. Couples do often differ in needs, and find an agreed upon way be be, if not happy as teens in love again, then at least companionably content.
I would just try kissing her intimately. Let things go from there, with no expectations for an end result. Just allow the intimacy to return to BOTH of your lives. Lie next to her and cuddle her, kiss her, and take things very very slowly. You may both feel like taking things further, and then you can let nature take its course. If not, try again at another time. But at least you'll have invited closeness back into your lives and that's a GOOD thing, even if it doesn't end up with sexual intercourse.
Good luck!
A Dementia seems to heighten the sex response. But there is nothing wrong in not wanting to engage in it. I wouldn't be interested either.
There are many ways to be intimate that are sexual, but aren’t actually sex. Kissing, laying together, massage, hand jobs for either, etc. Maybe you can figure out something that would work for both of you.
Good luck.
Not everything can be made right and perfect in relationships. Speak with your MD or she can speak with hers. Consider couples counseling; some who specialize in this work give exercises that start you out slow. You know, handholding 101. Like learning to "date" again.
I think after all is tried, you may come out still scratching your head. Not everything can be fixed, sadly. Couples do often differ in needs, and find an agreed upon way be be, if not happy as teens in love again, then at least companionably content.