My wife keeps saying she "wants to go home." How do I answer that?

Sorry to say the behavioral Geriatric Psych Hospital Unit just called to tell me that in 1 1/2 weeks, they still cannot stop or redirect my mother from trying to escape and "Go Home To Mothers." Um...I'll pray for all of us today.

She1934, we are in the same situation. My husband doesn’t have dementia, but he is bedridden. I filed for Bankruptcy on Tuesday. You have to have an attorney on board to file for you. At this point, I’m not sure even that will help us. Our house would have to be sold “as is” too and as homes in our development can be for sale for over a year that’s not even feasible. The idea of a tiny, low-income apartment with his giant hospital bed and durable medical equipment stuffed into it is terrifying. Plus I’d have to rehome my dog if anyone would even take her.

I applied for a Medicaid Waiver. It’s in limbo right now as I’ve been busy with this bankruptcy process. But I was told we needed to open a Qualified Income Trust or a Miller Trust. Any amount of income over the Medicaid Limit goes into that account monthly. Then he would qualify for aid. Please call your local Medicaid office and ask for help.

"Home" is where things are simple and happy and safe. While your wife may be remembering her childhood home, I believe "home" is also a state of mind. Being cared for by her mom and a sense of security.

You can try to divert your wife's attention when she starts saying that she wants to go home. Bring her a snack or turn on a movie she enjoys. If she continues to say that she wants to go home you can make excuses why she can't go home right then. Maybe no one's home at that time or you can't find the house key. You can say, "We can't go today but let's see how tomorrow looks." Any of these tactics may not be effective and may only buy you a few minutes of peace but eventually you wife's desire to go home will cease.

My Mama started to go wandering to the neighbors at night. It was part of her sundowning. Many people have said on here that they had loved ones want to go home. But the person meant home to where they grew up. Parents house, full of brothers or sisters. This is what my Mom started to say. I want to go home to Mothers. After about 6 years in, we were standing in the kitchen in her own house and she said"This is so amazing! We are not in my house but this looks just like my kitchen." She would go to the neighbors, they would call me and I would go get her. She would tell me "No, I'm not going with you, my Mother is coming to take me home." She just had a fall and is in Memory care now. We tried re directing, "fibblets", (little white lies), etc. I finally learned to just say "Your Mom is on a trip with her sisters", etc. We used to say everybody has passed away in the beginning. It took me several years to decide to fib. It stops tears and sadness for her. She was a Sunday School teacher for 50 years but I believe in this situation, God forgives me! This is hard. You just have to make things up. It saves them so much fresh heartache from always saying you can't go there, they are all gone. Unfortunately, this happens Everytime I see her. You are not alone in this. It's HARD! Grace and Peace.