It is not usually a good idea to bring someone back home even for a short while who has dementia. It can cause confusion and additional anxiety. Taking them out of their living environment such as to a restaurant, shopping center, or friend, or a walk when it is safe to do so is good. Have her wear a mask and use hand sanitizers and wash hands frequently to get her out and about. Just do not take her back to the homd she can't go back to and stay.
I've never taken my mom to her own house, but I have brought her to mine for dinner or a visit. She likes it , gets tired within a couple hours, and lets me know when she wants to go "home", which is usually the assisted living where she now resides that she wishes to return to. Sometimes she asks if she lives there in my house and I tell her no. Once back she is always grateful to be "home". Mostly, for outings I would take her on rides to the mountains, which we haven't been able to do for almost a year. I think she will still like to go when restrictions are lifted. The rides don't ever confuse her. I guess it depends on your wife's confusion level and whether or not she wants to get out for something like a ride, but I would say she should not go back to her former home.
As others have said, one of the most important things for dementia patients is consistency, because is helps them feel safe. Once they're out of familiar surroundings, they can get very agitated and afraid, and unfortunately, your home is no longer the safe space. She needs to see the memory care facility as "home" now.
I moved my mother closer to me so I could bring her over to my house during the day at times and she could be around me in my home. That was more than a year and a half ago, and it never happened even once. I quickly realized it wouldn't be good for her, and I was doing it more for my comfort at that point.
It may make YOU feel better to bring her home, but IME, people with dementia need structure to function best.
I agree with Alva--if you desire private time, a nice drive is a good choice. I wish I could get my mom to go with me somewhere, but she thinks COVID is flying around in the air like the wind, so she has been in lockdown for almost 10 months.
No, this will add to confusion and disrupt adapting to a new life. A ride to see the countryside would not be out of place if you are able to provide that.
It's good to know you're aware that bringing her home may cause confusion or worse ( an emotional episode or a resistance to enter the house or return to the facility). A LO with dementia can react to a change in environment in ways we don't expect and maybe can't handle. Why would you want to bring her home? Is it COVID? Is it the loneliness? The virus wasn't an issue back in 2016 when I had to place my wife in MC, but my separation from her was. I know it's very difficult for you and very lonely but there was a reason you placed your wife in this facility. It saddens me to say you can't return to "normal" anymore even for just a little while. I would suggest you not bring her home.
Routine and consistency are very important aspects of care for those with dementia. It will cause her confusion to bring her home even for a short visit. Doing so could undo any adjustment she has made in memory care. What if she refused to leave when time to return to memory care? Anything could happen.
As others have said, one of the most important things for dementia patients is consistency, because is helps them feel safe. Once they're out of familiar surroundings, they can get very agitated and afraid, and unfortunately, your home is no longer the safe space. She needs to see the memory care facility as "home" now.
I moved my mother closer to me so I could bring her over to my house during the day at times and she could be around me in my home. That was more than a year and a half ago, and it never happened even once. I quickly realized it wouldn't be good for her, and I was doing it more for my comfort at that point.
I agree with Alva--if you desire private time, a nice drive is a good choice. I wish I could get my mom to go with me somewhere, but she thinks COVID is flying around in the air like the wind, so she has been in lockdown for almost 10 months.
No do not bring her home even for a short visit.