My wife is 64, has dementia, is unable to walk, eat solid food, or speak hardly at all. I need help.

Marc, I suggest you call your local Area Agency on Aging to get the ball rolling on several issues. I also would make an appointment with an elder care attorney. Our attorney charged us nothing for the first meeting and gave us very helpful advice. He later earned a fee by providing us with a Power of Attorney for my mother.
He suggested that my parents file for Medicaid separately. In doing so, your wife may then qualify. I assume you are not in need of a nursing home. My mother was accepted for Medicaid and placed in a nursing home after a hospitalization and transfer to rehab. My father’s income was not touched or even considered. He was already receiving $1,000 a month from us kids to supplement his income in order to pay for the extra medical assistance he needed.
There are options out there to get the help you need for your wife. Please let us know how you are doing.

We are in the same situation. We make too much to qualify for Medicaid. But not enough to comfortably live on. I’ve been advised here to look into something called a Miller Trust where the overage is put into a special Medicaid account but you, as the Community Spouse get to keep enough to live on. Since you keep getting the run around, search for an Elder Law Attorney in your area who specializes in Medicaid and consult with them.