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"I love you and I'll be back tomorrow."
Helpful Answer (16)
Reply to lealonnie1

There isn't more to say.
She may ask why you can no longer live together and just be honest that she now needs more care than you can provide. That you will visit her as frequently as possible. That you love her.

This falls, unfortunately, as those of us who are old understand under the heading of "not everything can be fixed." Aging comes with a whole lot of loss and unhappiness. I am so sorry for the grief you're both suffering. And "I am sorry" is sometimes, inadequate as it is, the only thing to be said.
Helpful Answer (11)
Reply to AlvaDeer

You blame it on the facility, which is the truth. "No one is allowed to stay overnight." Then say what Lealonnie1 suggested and go home.

Reason and logic will not work and she won't remember the discussion, so the only strategy is to leave her while in as calm a state as possible. That's as much as you can do.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Geaton777

Tell her you love her kiss her on the forhead and tell her you will be back soon.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Bubba12345

I think it matters less what words you SAY. It will be more about HOW you say it, what your body language & face tell/show her.

I see people leaving their loved ones all the time, in waiting rooms, hospitals, care homes.

Such a variety of people! From the hesitant, nervous folk - delaying their exit, overtalking with worry..

To the detatched, no-nonsense folk - See you tomorrow then. Bye.
Turn. Leave. Gone.

To all the folk inbetween.

"Fake it until you make it" is my 2c.

Act confident - in body, face & speech.

Give a good hug or squeeze of the hand, a firm nod, a kiss, whatever is your practice.
See you tomorrow.

PS It is hard. It takes much bravery.
It may feel fake, to hide your grief, fear or saddness at leaving her. But it is also a great kindness. To maybe save her from picking up on those emotions.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Beatty

Your doing everything you can do, the best that you can. She is broke you can't fix it.

Don't let the sadness and guilt and stress effect your health. Take good care of yourself, your doing a great job , now she is in memory care, where she needs to be to keep her safe. Take time for you, to rest, sleep , eat right, have some fun in your life, and breathe!!
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Anxietynacy

Ah been there done that with my mom and then my shi**y dad. I said pretty much the same to them in different times/places. Of Course! I'll be back in a few I just need to check on some things at my place. I love you. Kiss. Goodnight
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to gemswinner12

Mom often tells me "I want you to stay with me".. I simply say maybe tomorrow..
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Sadinroanokeva

Perhaps there is a reason you can give that has less to do with her being in Memory Care and more to do with you needing to be home. If you have a pet for instance or maybe if you told her it would cost money for you to stay or that it would cost double per month because you need to be a resident to stay for insurance purposes…something you suspect she will agree makes it more important you sleep at home.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Lymie61

Does she loves pets? In the past, did she treat them like her 'babies'? If so, buy her a Joy For All Golden Companion Dog. They are so respondent and besides barking and heartbeat, it actually makes sounds like she says I Don't Know, and I Love You. Get Model A9108. It's more life like. My wife is mid-late stage Dementia and she carries her everywhere and cuddles with her every nite. You can buy new on Amazon buy can also get used ones for less than $100. Well worth the cost. Uses 4 C batteries. Can turn on and off. Best to you my friend!
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to NoTree
Cdaughter Jun 11, 2024
My Mother who has dementia has a robotic cat. It has been very helpful to her especially since she had to give up her cat when she moved to Memory Care. Its very realistic!
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