My father was put on hospice 2 months ago when he could still eat, get himself to bathroom with help, dress with help. He is 95 and has late stage dementia. We did not administer any of the special hospice meds until last week as he gets agitated at night and cannot sleep anymore. I have given the Morphine and Lorazepam at night for a week. He sleeps most of the day now. How can I feel like I’m not killing him by giving him his prescribed meds. He does not want to live like this I know that. Everyone says give him the meds as prescribed, every 2 hours. I know he’s dying but I know this will hasten his death so I have terrible guilt. How do I get over the guilt of medicating him the way he was prescribed. Emotional. Thank you.
When it's my turn for hospice, please GIVE ME the meds intended to keep me comfortable and not upset and scared and in pain while I'm dying. Please don't feel GUILTY about keeping me peaceful and comfortable instead of stressed to the max and freaking out. Hospice is not intended to kill me, the cancer is going to do that. Hospice is intended to prevent my discomfort, anxiety and anguish during the dying process. And NOT to put it ONTO my family instead in the form of misguided "guilt" over following my WISHES.
Thank you. See you on the Other Side.
This question, of course, should be brought to HOSPICE, not to a Forum of strangers. Seek their advice if you don't understand medications you are administering and when, where, why and how to administer them.
The WILL make him more comfortable.
I was concerned about the Morphine as well. The last dose I gave my Husband I thought after wards...It was late/early in the morning, the lighting was not great and I was sleepy...could I have possibly given him an over dose...is that what killed him?.....The Nurse that came that morning and when I expressed my fear to her she looked at me and said if I had given him the entire bottle there would not have been enough to kill him. That gave me such peace of mind.
With the medications he is no longer anxious, he can relax, he can breathe he can sleep peacefully.
Even if dad looks to be asleep he may still hear you, he knows your touch, he knows you are there.
Sit with him, lay next to him, talk to him. Hold his hand.
🙏
I know in my heart it is helping him relax.
He was reaching out and his legs were jittery. But now he is calm.
He is listening to a rotation of a few hours of Benny Goodman (his favorite), then classical music for an hour or two, then backyard birdsong, quietly at his bedside.
Please know you are not hastening his death, as the wise Forum members have posted. You are giving him peace. I'll be thinking of you.
As others here have written, talk to the hospice nurses. My mothers were wonderful founts of knowledge. Very kind too. They also directed me to a grief support group after Mom's passing.
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