My sister and I have been given power of attorney for my stepfather, having been in his life for 26 years. His own two daughters have written him off and have been estranged the majority of those years. Our stepfather accidentally called his biological daughter recently while in the assisted living facility. He thought he was calling me (he has dementia), which is how she found out he was there.
We had just settled him in there that week and had every intention of informing them of his status, which really we didn't have to. He is not dead, but they are treating this as if he were already, and are wondering about a will or trust. They are also now questioning the power of attorney and being very hostile, questioning the sale amounts of his previously sold house, and his house intended to go up for sale soon.
She is also calling the staff at the assisted living facility about his financial affairs, to which they rightly answer that they cannot disclose, unless power of attorney agrees and is present to answer any questions related finances and the facility.
I am prepared to tell them to call our attorney, but recently I received a VM from the eldest biological daughter. We were waiting to hear back from our attorney regarding the daughters' intended visit to see their father and the facility with us there as POA and, as family members who have been there for him all along. But she recently let us know that she did not want us there at all, after all. What I want to say to her is, "Why, what are your intentions?" And that, regarding financial matters, "you should speak with our attorney." And, to her question about why we were given power of attorney and not her, "...it is because of your years of estrangement from your father."
Is this last statement advisable? And, as POA, while they are free to see their dad privately, is it advisable that we be present during their visit with the staff director there?