Last night he woke my mom up when he opened the front door, setting the alarm off. My mom is 91. is in congestive heart failure, kidney disease and has a fib. He was yelling because he saw people all over the house, they live alone. My mother was able to calm him down and he returned to sleep. The police showed up, and had to explain everything for about the 20th time. He was in the military for over 40 years, but never went to a VA hospital. His Dr. said today, that he is nearing the end, with his dementia and possibly his life. Does anyone have any suggestions where I can reach out for financial help? He needs to go into a memory home I was just told. My mom is crying, and I am trying to make the best decision, There really isn't one. I am afraid for my mom. During the day we have caregivers there, but they leave at 6pm, my step father goes to bed anywhere from 230pm to 530pm. We pay for the cargivers which run us about 2000 a wk. I don't know where to turn now. I called the Va where they live, since he has never been there, no help. Called dept of aging, because of their monthly cheks, which dont add up to 3000 a month, only willing to help out with maybe 500 xtra. Please, any suggestions?
You Mom can no longer care for her DH. I agree, he needs a NH with Medicaid paying. I suggest first that you consult with an elder law attorney versed on Medicaid. If your parents have any assets other than SS and pension, these assets can be split. Step fathers half would go for his care and when spent down, Medicaid would be applied for. The monthly income, SS and any pension, will be looked at. Mom will be given what she needs to live on.
With all Moms health problems, would she agree on going into a NH with her husband?
Your dad would probably qualify for many services, your mom as well.
If you do not have the information that you might need (DD214 for starters) contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission. Their services are free and they can tell you what your dad would qualify for.
If he is not on Hospice now a call to Hospice might be in order.
2 Basic types of Hospice FOR profit and NOT for profit. The one I uses happened to be a NOT for profit and I can not say enough about the wonderful people, help and equipment that I/we got.