My sons want to pay for extra caregiver time so I can have some “time off” caring for my husband. I’m uncomfortable with this. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

My sons want to pay for extra caregiver time so I can have some “time off” caring for my husband. I’m uncomfortable with this. Any advice?

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One son has a family and lives out of state. The other has recently started a new career. Although we aren’t wealthy, we also aren’t destitute. My husband has multiple illnesses and is incontinent. He also has some dementia. We are not elderly but are retired. Should I accept their generosity or continue to take care of everything myself?

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Thank you all for your encouragement. My first Extra day is tomorrow. I’m taking my niece shopping for her belated birthday gift! She loves my husband and is so understanding of the situation. We’re both pretty excited about our outing together. Thank you all for giving me a different perspective. I do love my sons dearly.
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Reply to Katleb
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Oh how Nice! Absolutely accept his Generous Gift, and get out and Enjoy yourself for a while! His gift was given because he Loves and Appreciates Everything that You do for his Dad, and you should accept in the spirit in which it was given! Pat yourself on the back, that you have rasised such a Kind and Loving Son! You deserve it, and will come home from an afternoon out, and feel refreshed, so start writing out lists of things You have been putting off, things just for your enjoyment! It's a Wonderful Offer, Take him up on it!
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Reply to staceyb
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Yes! What a wonderful gift. Think how you would like it. 3 days a week and aide can bathe him. Make him lunch why you enjoy lunch with a friend. Shopping. My DH is almost deaf so we don't socialize much. Grocery shopping can be old home week for me. See people I don't usually see. Really, you need a break. Congrats.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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You must be very proud. I would be.

Graciously accept their kind offer. They want to have their mom around for a lot longer. That doesn't happen when you are the sole caregiver 24/7.

Start thinking what you want to do on your "days off". Keep connected with friends because that's the first thing to go when you're a c/g.
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Reply to SueC1957
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Yes indeed, allow your sons to help! You raised them well. They understand how hard caregiving is.
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Reply to HolidayEnd
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Absolutely, YES! They are very generous to offer and love you dearly. They recognize the importance of you taking care of you and getting time away from caregiving.
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Reply to gladimhere
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Yes, I would most definitely accept the offer. You may not feel it now, but it doesn't take much to get really burned out. Having the extra break would really help you so you don't get to that point to where you're just totally exhausted. Plus, I bet it would help your sons feel better that they are able to do something nice for you to help you take care of their dad. :)
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Reply to FrazzledMama
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