My Sisters’ deceased life partner’s son is her POA. He dropped her off on my doorstep & announced “He’s DONE!” I’m not in the shape to take her in. What shoud I do?

The NH cannot release your sister if its an unsafe discharge. So the money keeps mounting. If ur sister is not competent to make informed decisions she can't revoke the first POA nor can she assign you, not that you would want that and at this point I would not even agree to it. So what may need to happen is you talk to the SW at the NH and tell her the State is going to need to become her guardian. Guardianship overrides POA. So the person who is assigned as her Guardian will be able to get all the information needed to get a Medicaid application done. The main thing here is, that you will have no say in her care or where she is placed. But you also will have none of the responsibility.

You must make it clear that you are not able to care for her. That if you even tried, your marriage would be over and your husband comes first.

If you run into problems with the SW and the system, get a lawyer. If you can't afford that try legal aid or abandon your sister. Make it hard for the NH and authorities to contact u. And if they find you, repeat you cannot care for her.

I have a recent bit of knowledge about a case that has some similarities to what you recount. The closest family member refuses to take over the POA for reasons I totally understand (financial being one of these reasons, as the person in question is addicted to online buying). The relative wants the person in question to become a "ward of the state." The "state" would then move in and take over the person's finances, etc. and presumably find this individual a place to live. I'm sure this is a complicated process, and depends on where you live. But it's worth checking into. Good luck.

I trust that you did not sign as "responsible party" when she was admitted to her current placement.

The NH will in all likelihood try to shame you into picking her up. Give the the POA's contact information and tell them you are not responsible for this mess.

The NH will probably ask the State to take guardianship which is probably the best outcome.

Get in touch with Adult Protective Services and report the situation.

I would also contact the local police and report that the POA has ascended. They might not be able to do anything, but filing a police report shows that you've tried to find him.

You need to speak to an attorney and I am sad this has been brewing for two years. There may BE no money because for all this time that abusive person has been the POA. See an elder law attorney at once. This man will need to be removed as POA.
Being POA means that you have to keep meticulous records of every cent in and every cent out and it sounds to me that this may have NEVER been done.
You may want to consider APS.
You are not POA. Yet you have taken this woman into your home for two years. Start with an attorney and find out your options.
I am sorry. What a mess you are in. This man should have been removed as POA the day he dumped your Sister.