My husband and I gave up our home and our lives to move in with my mom. I have been taking care of her for 10 years, since my dad passed. My mom went downhill after 5 years and we had to move in with her. My sister and I have never gotten along, and she keeps calling social services to have them check on my mom. Every time they see that my mom is fine, in good health and happy. Before my dad died, my sister was the golden child. She was a beauty queen and is married to a man worth 54 million dollars. Once my dad passed, my mom got a taste of what my sister is really like. My sister hates my mom, and it's no secret that my sister and I never got along. In 1958 my sister starred in a movie. I don't know how much she made, but she accuses my parents of keeping her money and buying cars and houses with it. It is absolutely laughable that she made enough money to buy cars and houses. My sister now tells me that she is going to make sure that I end up with nothing, and she is going to "prove" that I have been stealing from my mom and have abusing her and keeping my mom from going anywhere. During COVID no one went anywhere, but now my mom can go anywhere she wants, and to say the least I have not stolen anything, and I am not abusive. My sister says that I will be sorry that I didn't put my mom in a "home" where she thinks my mom belongs. My sister says she will use her millions to make sure I lose everything, and she'll make sure I end up in prison.
To explain further, my sister is angry because she wants my mom to suffer in a group home because our mom had put her mother in a group home and didn't take care of my grandmother at home. I explained to my sister that our mom had four brothers and a sister who all had grown children, but my mom still had me at home (I was a young child), and that my mom's brothers or sister could have taken her in. My sister is 12 years older than me, and lives a life of privilege.
Also, in the last 10 years of taking care of my mom, my sister has sent me $300.00 to help out. I guess that's why she's a multi-millionaire, because she doesn't believe in helping anyone but herself.
The reason I am concerned about this is because my sister sues everyone. She has tried to sue hospitals as well as major companies, she enjoys the drama and doesn't care how much it costs her.
300,000 is a chunk of change, and I am glad that your sister is helping out with costs she feels you are incurring with your Mom. I am hoping you keep a good accounting of this money given, and how you used it. At this point, were Sister to sue you, and given that you have cared for your Mother it might be good for you to start to (if you don't already) keep an accounting of what it costs you in terms of caring for Mom. This would include transportation costs and time to shopping, for food, to MDs, to POA work (which a Fiduciary gets paid 90.00 an hour for), for modifications to the home and so on. Were you to divide this out (unless my math skills are COMPLETELY gone) this would be about 25,000 a year, or two thousand a month. This is truly a chunk of change she has given to help out.
She did not ask you for an accounting as in "Sis, I am giving you what amount to a years salary for 10 years to care for Mom; I expect you to keep a good accounting of it." So who knows how all this would go in court. I surely don't.
I can only say were someone giving me upwards of 2,000.00 a month I would be sure to have it accounted for. Just in case. And especially given that you don't get along very well with this woman. I am quite surprised, in fact, with the level of dislike and distrust she has for you, that she supplies any money at all.
Wishing you good luck.
Her sister gave her $300.00 to help out is what I read.
I hope Mom has left you the house. Turning it over to you would have been better.
People who don’t have a meaningful life, generally try to run other people’s lives. Hey, APS hasn’t found anything on you, but it’s still a nuisance putting up with this nonsense in your life. I don’t wish harm on anyone, but you know what they say, “What goes around, comes around.” Don’t count on your sister getting everything that she wants in life. Life is full of mysteries!
Let her keep minding other people’s business and trying to stir up trouble. Sooner or later she will make a complete jack a** out of herself! Keep records of everything but more than likely you won’t have to prove a thing. She will destroy herself and lose all credibility.
All bullies are insecure underneath the surface. It doesn’t matter if she has money, her life is miserable, if she has to go after a sister, that she should be grateful to for caring for mom.
I can’t imagine how all of this makes your mom feel. What a sad situation.
Get as much evidence as you can about what your sister has been saying. Keep emails, record phone messages if you can, ask for confirmation from Social Services about her actual complaints (or if they won’t identify her, about the complaints), as well as about their decisions. If sister is likely to come around to your place, get a camera with sound fixed on the door.
As well as this, get as much information as you can about her previous complaints and legal cases. Records are the go, with evidence if possible.
If your sister goes ahead and sues you, you will need a lawyer, who will help you cross claim for defamation. The previous track record with others will help as well. Your claim is for a large amount of money. Counter claims are well known for stopping dodgy litigation in its tracks. When the litigant finds that they are at risk themselves, they start thinking again.
If you have any idea about how your sister thinks she will "prove" that you have been stealing, get all the financial records in neat order. ‘Abuse’ should be covered by the Social Services evidence. Keep records of where mother is going, for evidence that you have not been ‘keeping my mom from going anywhere’.
What you need is factual evidence. If all you have is ‘she said’ and ‘no I didn’t’, you have a serious risk. Get your ducks in a row - it's a pain, but worthwhile.