My sister is trustee to our Mother's Trust, but she will not pay my wages as we agreed. Do I go as far as to contact the Labor Commission Dept? - AgingCare.com

My sister is trustee to our Mother's Trust, but she will not pay my wages as we agreed. Do I go as far as to contact the Labor Commission Dept?

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My mother and I made an agreement for my family and I to move in to her home and to care for her. She has Parkinson and is in a wheelchair.
My sister claims that the agreement was between my Mother and I and that the Trust is not responsible to help pay my income or pay to have someone come in to help me.
I am watching and caring for Mom 24/7. I have 6 brothers and sisters but no one can "handle" caring for her. My pay is only $1000.00 per month and since Mom's income is restricted by the trust, I have also helped with groceries and miscellaneous bills when needed.
Do I go as far as to contact the Labor Commission Dept? There was 4 months that I only received $500.00 per month because the "Trust" did not "give" her the supplement amount agreed upon for living expenses.

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She was suing our Mom for conservator-ship. When the attorney bills got to be over $23,000.00 Mom and her attorney settled for a court mediation. In the agreement my sister was given full control over certain parts of her income and was made trustee to the trust.
Afterwords My Mom didn't even know what she had signed. Stress makes her sort of fade out. It was a 4 hour meeting.
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Why does your sister have control over your moms trust?
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What type of trust is this? If it is a revokable trust your Mother can revoke it and change any and everything. If not, you need to see a lawyer. Many people draw up trusts to prevent nursing homes from taking everything they have. They lose control when these trusts are not revokable. Please see an elder attorney asap.
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If I have an agreement written up do you suppose we could include all cost being paid by the "Trust"? That would grind my sister. But the only other way to regain my non paid wages seems to be the Labor Commission. That would cost the Trust a substantial amount more. Hey with the extra I could take my Mom on a cruise. What do you think of that idea?
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Good advice lilliput.
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Normally, the person who cares for the parent directly has the POAs and/or is the trustee, mainly because that person knows all the needs of the parent. It gets really sticky when the caregiver has no control over finances.
Perhaps an independent mediator could help. You both can present your sides of the caregiving issue. Come prepared with documentation about how much the type of care you are providing costs in your area. (here is is $18 to 26/hr for in-home care. 3,000/asst. living, and $6,000-8,000. for an NH)
I can't imagine why your sister would withhold funds from someone who is providing your mom quality care. Why aren't your other sibs either pitching in to help or intervening on your behalf? Do they realize how little care you can buy for $1,000/mo.?
It is true that when a trust is created it becomes it's own separate entity. However, I assume that this trust was created to protect assets for you mom's care.
It's bad enough that the government refuses to assist family caregivers for the tireless work we do - but when the non-caregiving sibs do the same it is unforgivable.
Your mother needs to get a copy of the trust...it is her right. (also, the reverse mortgage issues is worrisome.) Your sister needs to pay all her bills for her care....you should stop paying any bills out of pocket. Your agreed upon salary should be paid from either her reg. income and/or the trust.
Btw, was your agreement with your mom in writing? If not, you need to draw up one that spells out your duties and how much you are being paid. Anything outside the agreement is "extra" and you need to be reimbursed for that too.
If may sound extreme, but you may have to tell your sibs that you are through being the underpaid help and if they can find comparable services for what they are paying you, they should go for it. Of course, they do not care about your mom, but they may care about how this will inpact their "inheritance."
Good luck...family things never seem to go smoothly.
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Thank you so much for responding. My sister was suing for conservator-ship and the costs for the attorney was becoming high. The attorney set up a mediation and in doing so some of Mom's income goes directly to the Trust account and sis has full control of the trust account. My Sister also has gotten a reverse mortgage on Mom's house. The list of bills being paid does not include any money due to me. I have submitted the bill. No luck.
It seems that when my mom is in a stressful situation she kind of shuts down. In doing this she has gotten herself into situations that she later regrets. So of course when I try to fix (what I can) I am the bad guy.
It's the typical "you're sponging off of mom". They have NO idea how hard it is to care for a person confined to a wheel chair. The other family members are never around but maybe 1 hour every 2 to 3 months.
anyway Thank you, again.
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Ok I don't know anything about legal trust, but if is what I think it is and your moms income, and sis is trying to save the money by not paying for her care(let me know if I'm off the mark with that one) whatever her form of income is, should be used for her care. Whatever you and mom agreed on must have been acceptable to mom, so I would let sis know that nursing home care, runs anywhere from 6 to 8 thousand a month in most places. And its your moms money to spend on her care, not sis money to hide back for her future use. So if she would rather pay more for her care, and have her taken care of by strangers as opposed to you then she can do all the handeling. And give her a certain amount of time to make up her mind. People get crazy about elder ones money and its sad. It their money for their care. If you have made speacial arrangments with mom, and she can afford to pay you, and other cargivers, then that must have been her solution to her failing health and those wishes should be respected.
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