Mom doesn't want to hear that my sister is gravely ill. I just found out that the chemo she is receiving could kill her. This has happened to a dear friend of mine so I take it seriously. I have tried to prepare mom (who does not live in AL). Mom lives on her own and is cared for jointly by my sister and I. I can no longer drive due to frequent insulin reactions and will have difficulty getting her to all of her appointments. I will have help however from a local church group and have been considering using UBER or LYFT. I also have been considering using paid caregivers for appointments. I am trying to prepare for all possibilities. She is 91 yrs. old and adamantly refuses AL which she was in for a short time and hated it.
She refuses to hear about the graveness of my sister's condition and doesn't want to talk about planning. I've been told that at some point decisions just have to be made for them, and I'm beginning to think that may be the case very soon. Do I just let the events unfold as they inevitably will and make the decisions as needed? My sister is currently POA. I'm assuming that should probably be changed but I don't even know how to mention this to my sister. She has been very frank about her time being short but I also have been very reticent to acknowledge or confirm that because talking about it makes it seem too real for me. Besides my sister and my mother I have only a brother whom I rarely see and rarely talk to. He does not participate in my mom's care and I know would not even consider helping out, so I won't bother stressing myself out with asking. Sometimes I find the anticipatory grief so bad (in addition to my health problems) that I fall into bouts of depressive episodes that leave me amotivational and unproductive. Sorry for the length of this post I just need to vent in addition to seeking advice