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My 90-year-old mother lives with my sister who is power of attorneyMy sister is extremely resentful of me and so I am isolated from my motherI have seen my mother one time over the last year and 20 daysI have spoken to my mother for 57 seconds on her 90th birthday August 21My sister has blocked me from all sources ofWhen my mother first went into hospice care at my sister's homeI would call all day and night trying to find out the status of my motherTo my surprise, I receive a letter from an attorney telling me to stop "harassing "my sisterHarassing is calling twice a day to check on my mother?This has been going on for over a year nowIs there an expiration date on this harassment letter?The entire family got together for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but of course I was not invitedMy sister has pretty much labeled me the scapegoat of the familyAnd I must tell you, this has been going on for yearsShe has started silent treatment with me December 25 of 2024 and it is still activeMy sister has given me silent treatment for an eight year stretch as well as a six year stretchNo doubt my sister has some extreme emotional issues or as my friend say she is "emotionally illiterate"Her second husband has a lot of influence on the decisions my sister has made regarding how she treats meI know my mother wants to see me. I know my mother is cognitive.Adult protective services says although it is emotional isolation emotional abuse they cannot step in because there's no sign of physical abuseI have tried to go through pro bono, attorneys legal services attorneys, based on limited income no one is able to help meI send my mother cards, flowers, presence, and I never hear if she received them or notI know this harassment letter from the attorney should not stand for this long. The letter also stated that I am to stop talking to third parties about my mother and her living with my sister.I am an immediate family member and know that my mother would love to see me or talk to me on the phoneI text my sister every day and ask her to please put the phone up to my mom's here so I can just say hi to herI never get a response. My sister has turned off her phone.Anyone got any suggestion? It is a dark dark

Risingson......I just read your Nov response to me when I asked you this question about why mom doesn't call you. Your sister took her phone away. I'm sorry that mental illness on your sisters part is preventing you from seeing mom. This must be SO frustrating for you, I cannot even imagine. I truly hope she stops all this hateful and controlling nonsense before mom passes away so you two can reunite.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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If your mom is not suffering from dementia, as you say, why has she not contacted you herself?
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Reply to lealonnie1
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You have been asking this same question since Feb 2025, last one November 2025. You have gotten plenty of responses to how you can handle it. I really don't know what you think a forum of Caregivers can do for you. We are lay people not lawyers.

This is your 6th post on the same topic. The only time you responded was in your first post in Feb. I will be reporting this post.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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We cannot fully know, not can we interfere in the history of what is clearly toxic family relationship ongoing. We cannot sit in judgement of who is right and who is wrong here, but you have been told to cease and desist by an attorney letter, and you are in grave danger of a restraining order that will allow you no visitation of a mother who would likely love you brief, loving visits every few days.

I fully admit my PREDJUDICE in this response; this struggle needs to end. I have ZERO use for siblings who cause dissention at the end of an elder's life when they are weak and torn in the middle and have no way to protect themselves.

It is time for YOU to throw yourself upon the mercy of your sister. To send a letter TO ATTORNEY to be given to her, apologizing for all the distress you have caused, and begging for there to be a way you can visit your mother at least weekly and briefly. Tell sister that you will arrange to be accompanied by a person she designates or a social worker so it can be assured you visit only with love, well wishes and with no dissention.

This is your mother's last days. This is your sister caring for her. If you cannot set aside your own history and your own fury to make this good for your mother, then to be honest I hope they take restraining orders against you.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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