My sister is in late stage Parkinson's and over the past few months the dementia has started.I had been calling and talking to them once a week, but it seemed to only confuse her more. Is it better that I just don't call?


Both her daughters and I live out of town and her husband is her caregiver, though in recent months he has realized he can no longer do it alone and is bringing in more help. I had been calling and talking to them once a week until two weeks ago, but it seemed to only confuse her more. I can't talk to her until I get home from work, and by then her sundowning has started. I hate this, but I don't want to make her confusion worse, so it is better that I just don't call, isn't it?
By the way, 22 years ago she and I were caregivers for our mother who had Alzheimer's.

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Thank you both. I am always on call at work (Library--reference questions) even at lunch, and can't really find a place to talk. Weekends in daytime I am walking with my walking partner and meeting with friends (that I don't get to see during the week) until sundowning would start again. The cards idea is a really good one though--I could do that.

I will be visiting her sometime around Christmas--when both her girls and her granddaughters will be there. We have been doing that every three months or so.
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Sorry to read about your family's trials. You've faced a lot of challenges must be a strongly bonded family. I hope that offers comfort to each of you.

Perhaps you could just call on the weekend mornings, but another thought is to send her cards. She can read them in the morning, treasure and keep them to read over and over again.

I'm a card saver, and periodically find a batch that we exchanged as a family a long time ago. It's always a special moment, reminding me of close family bonds that were developed years ago. It's also sad, but kind of a mixture of a good and not so good "Hallmark Moment."

BTW, are you aware of Palliative Care? It's not Hospice, and it provides home nursing care (so I've been advised by one of our medical team) as well as rehab and a visiting physician. Addressing chronic conditions, it's a Medicare program that still being "fleshed out".
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Can you call her earlier in the day on the weekend? Or on a lunch break at work?
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