She moved from Cali after 30 years. I live in a doublewide in PA having been brought here by a dismal and miserable relationship that I ended. I’m stuck here. Can’t afford NYC anymore.
She doesn’t want to be here. It’s apparent. I “retired” last April and immediately fell into a caregiving situation for an old and dear friend. Our lives simply crossed and he needed me. I became an ostomy nurse with only hands on training. He died 6 days after my sister arrived. I was told by a miserable woman that he died because I deserted him. I had every intention of going back but honestly he was more dead than alive. And he knew my sister was coming. I have been on my own only 3 years now outta the last 30 filled with bad choices.
We are polar opposites.
She brought 2 cats into my home and I already had 2. My dog died last year and I want a puppy. Nope. Not happening. Can somebody tell me how to stop my head from blowing off?

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She has nowhere else to go. Alienated from or refuses to ask CALI family to give her a room.
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Why did you take her in? Doesn't she have family?

My suggestion, if she can afford it, an AL. If not, Medicaid and LTC.
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Life is too short to accept or settle. End this situation just as you ended other situations. I wish you peace and joy in your days ahead.
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You do not have to take this on. Contact Agency on Aging or local Senior Center in your area and they can help the process of helping her apply for Medicaid if she is not already on Medicaid or does not have other insurance.
Explain that she can not live with you it is not safe and you can not safely care for her.
See if a Memory Care or Nursing facility can take her.
If she can not take her cats with her you will need to help her find homes for them.
I have to wonder who suggested that she move in with you?

If you truly are on the brink of "blowing your head off" (I do hope this is an exaggeration of the situation) you need to call 1-800-273-8255 this is the suicide hotline number.
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Why can't you tell your sister that this is not working out and that she needs to make other housing arrangements?
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