My mother is legally blind. She has sundowner, dementia and alzheimer's. She has lost her memory at 24 at a time or a bit longer. She can not take care of any meals , dressing slef , regular house chores. Can not properly bath self. Can not go out of house for any reason on her own. Can not shop , has no transportation, can not see to spend money or bills. Her mind comes and goes at times. Has a memory loss of certain things or at time to time. This is the first time I have reached publicly for answers. I apologize if I didn't give enough information the first time. That was a start for me getting some answers. I appreciate each one of your responses.
You don't say if your mother is incompetent to manage her own affairs, but I'm going to assume that for now.
This is not where to start but realize that if the sibling with the financial power of attorney refuses to pay for services or items necessary for your mother's wellbeing, you can petition the court challenging the sibling's failure to act in your mother's best interests. The court also will be able to look at the POA to see the terms your mother set up. If the court decides that the current agent is failing her duty, it will most likely assign a guardian. This is all expensive and time consuming, and means that someone has to be willing to step into the role of guardian, which is why trying to resolve this out of court is a really good idea.
It may be better to scare your sister straight by involving adult protective services. As a matter of fact, an APS investigation may show you that your mother does not need to go to a nursing home. Before you go the APS route, talk to someone at the agency in the county where your mother lives about what is involved in enforcing an APS protective order. It is not a magic wand.
If your sister would agree, mediation can be very helpful. You and her sister and any others involved in decision making sit with a neutral third party who manages a conversation among you with the aim of coming to a mutual agreement.
The POA has fallen to your Sister. So it is up to her. Is your Mother living alone? What dangers do you feel she is in at this time? Could you fill us in a little?
If your sister, the POA is not providing a safe environment for your mother that can be reported to APS. You could also contact the Attorney that handled the original paperwork, or your own attorney and start the process of becoming your mom's Guardian. However if your sister is providing care for mom. Mom is safe. This also means that mom is NOT left alone at any time then I think you would have a difficult time proving that she is not providing proper care. Generally a Nursing Home or Skilled Nursing facility is not needed for a person with dementia. What is needed is Memory Care facility.
Similar dynamics except I live with the elderly person and provide 100% of care. But a sibling has POA, and is executor. Sibling doesn't speak to me and is critical (behind my back) of decisions. Sibling has a "leave them be" mindset and will never authorize any careg assistance or support. These family dynamics really make an extremely hard situation a lot harder. I wish I knew the answer.
Her mind comes and goes at times. Has a memory loss of certain things or at time to time.
This is the first time I have reached publicly for answers. I apologize if I didn't give enough information the first time. That was a start for me getting some answers.
I appreciate each one of your responses.
This is not where to start but realize that if the sibling with the financial power of attorney refuses to pay for services or items necessary for your mother's wellbeing, you can petition the court challenging the sibling's failure to act in your mother's best interests. The court also will be able to look at the POA to see the terms your mother set up. If the court decides that the current agent is failing her duty, it will most likely assign a guardian. This is all expensive and time consuming, and means that someone has to be willing to step into the role of guardian, which is why trying to resolve this out of court is a really good idea.
It may be better to scare your sister straight by involving adult protective services. As a matter of fact, an APS investigation may show you that your mother does not need to go to a nursing home. Before you go the APS route, talk to someone at the agency in the county where your mother lives about what is involved in enforcing an APS protective order. It is not a magic wand.
If your sister would agree, mediation can be very helpful. You and her sister and any others involved in decision making sit with a neutral third party who manages a conversation among you with the aim of coming to a mutual agreement.
Is your Mother living alone?
What dangers do you feel she is in at this time?
Could you fill us in a little?
However if your sister is providing care for mom. Mom is safe. This also means that mom is NOT left alone at any time then I think you would have a difficult time proving that she is not providing proper care.
Generally a Nursing Home or Skilled Nursing facility is not needed for a person with dementia. What is needed is Memory Care facility.