My mother came to me after a stay in the hospital. I am one of nine children. Half of our family wanted her to go back into the asst. living facility, and half didn't. I took my mother home because she has been the victim of gross negligence at the facility. My sister and I went to see her a couple of weeks ago and she was lying in the bed in a pool of urine. She had not eaten or been attended to in 20 hours. They said that they forgot she was in the building. Two days later, my sister from Atlanta was visiting and found a bump on her head the diameter of a softball. They called an ambulance. Long story short, that was the last straw. My other sister, who is angry with me for taking her home, is her POA. My mother has money for care, but my sister will not give me a dime to help. My mom receives spouse pension from the VA, a Social Security Check, and an inheritance from my deceased father. What can I do?
Before getting into the "family issues" lets take a step back and consider one thing first. What does your mother want and is she of sound mind? I see that she has Alzheimer's. How far advanced is it? Has she been declared incompetent by a judge? That would mean that two doctors would have diagnosed her as incompetent.
What kind of care does your sister want to pay for in behalf of your mother? Have you always had conflict with this sister over the years or is this something new?
Is your sister medical POA as well as durable POA? If she is medical then she can determine where your mother is cared for.
If sis refuses to release MOMS funds for her care, call the office of elder abuse in your area. Who cares if sis gets pissed! You said there's been issues there for awhile, so no love lost there. Plus this isn't about your sister and her feelings, it's ALL about Mom's care.
Google your state name and guardianship law or something along those lines to get an idea of what your state requires.
Find a certified elder attorney.
It’s expensive. Your mom’s money can pay for it. If you win that is.
Try to work it out without this drastic step but that is what you can do to take over from your sister.
There is no guarantee you will be given guardianship by the court but if your mom is being neglected at least you have tried. The attorney could advise you as to your chances.
As it stands you are out of line legally if not morally.
You probably need to see an attorney anyway regardless of whether you file for guardianship. Perhaps the attorney can put POA sister on notice as to the level of care you expect her to assure mom receives.
Tough situation. This move can’t be easy on her either.