My mother recently passed. My father is on his last days. There is about 500k in assets that is left to be split 50/50 between my sister and I in the will, which of course doesn't happen until he passes. She had POA because she was helping pay bills, groceries, etc. Out of the blue she has flipped on me and acting very evil. Dad has been staying with her. She has cut me off from any contact with him. Things she's said and done, it appears she is spending money like crazy out of the savings they had and trying to get their home in her name to sell and also trying to buy a home for herself out of their money. In addition, paying thousands a month to her jobless, alcoholic boyfriend to be my dad's 'caretaker'. It is insane, I'm so upset.
How do I say, my dad is helpless, likely not legally incompetent, but has the mind of a helpless child. Everything thing he did was after my mom telling him what to do next. After she passed, my sister stepped in and replaced her. She could tell him anything and he's 100% going along. She had made up some vicious outright lies to him about me and put fear into him about me. So he just goes along with whatever. She could tell him I turned the color of the sky purple and he would believe it.
Attorneys just tell me I'm going to spend 20k+, it'll drag out forever, and a good chance I get nothing. What should I do? Is there anything I can do? How can she just sneak in like this...Do a 180 all of the sudden and turn evil to steal everything that is supposed to be split even between us for her and her boyfriend?
I'd contact the local police and report possible financial elder abuse, and if it costs $20K to get $250K, then so be it. If your sister is found liable, she'll be paying the $20K back to you and possibly damages as well.
You can either choose to cooperate and share in care for these end times or not. A will cannot be changed by someone with dementia. If there are funds left over at the end of your Dad's life they will be divided as his will stipulates. I assume she hope that y is also listed as the executor.
Again, consider APS. Tell them you suspect elder abuse and embezzlement of funds. And again, have your reasons for suspicion clearly deliniated, short and sweet. I hope that you are wrong, for your father's sake.
Just because sister is paying bills, helping out with groceries, etc. doesn't mean she has legal POA...even though I was my mom's POA, I never needed to enact it to be able to pay her bills or run her errands - all the bill paying was done online. I would be curious to find out if there actually is a legitimate POA, because 44 seems awfully young to have even named one, much less have it kick in; banks give people with elderly parents with dementia a hard time enacting a POA, I would think someone trying to get a POA over a 44 year old person to kick in would raise some flags somewhere along the line.
It might be sister is telling OP she has POA so he will feel he's got no legal recourse to fight her. I think at the very least, I would hire a lawyer to verify the POA is in existence.
She cannot have the house put in her name. Seems like Dad is not competent to sign it over. The POA may give her authorization to sell the house but any proceeds need to go to his care.
Is she Executor?
You say your father is 'likely not legally incompetent', but it sure sounds like he may BE incompetent & suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's. If that's the case, then what your sister is doing would be considered elder abuse by taking such advantage of a man who doesn't understand what she's doing. Maybe have a talk with an Elder Care atty about THAT aspect of the situation.
People can do some horrible things for money, we read about it all the time around here. Movies have been made about it. Lives have been lost over it, families torn apart and siblings relationships forever destroyed in the process. I hope you can find a way to talk to your sister & figure this whole thing out.
My condolences on the loss of your mother and everything else that's going on. Sending you a hug and a prayer for a good resolution.
And since my mother ending up in hospice has bent over backwards to shut me out from my dad and even my mother's last days in hospice. Like some evil 180 turn.