Sometimes it takes a crises of some sort or another to change the situation.
My sister had & still has reduced hygiene habbits. Not sure of the exact culprit: remembering, motivation to start, concentration to complete - maybe a mixture. It took a hospital admission to get a medical dx, then acceptance, before help was accepted. She was not independent for this from way back. It progressed from needed prompting, then light assistance, now a lot of physical assistance. But now happily accepts help.
If dementia is present, people start to need assistance - not just to wash but in so many areas of daily living also.
It's a very hard situation.
Others can see help is needed. But often a person with dementia/stroke/brain injury/mental illness cannot.
Nobday wants their rights taken away. Nobody wants to be forced to have their cognition tested, to be forced to move. Yet if the person is a danger to others, a danger to themselves - for safery, limits to their freedom & restrictions have to be made.
Unless your sister can be coaxed into accepting help, you probably have to wait.
I am very sorry you are going through this.
Has the relative she lives with reached out for help?
You can report the situation to Adult Protective Services in her area and relate your concerns. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and hoping the relative there isn’t part of the issue
Does the relative who is also living there with her someone who may also have dementia? Or be impaired in some way? If so, report both of them to social service for the county in which they reside.
As Alva outlined, APS will eventually intervene when things get "bad eough". If your sister has not assigned PoA then the county will acquire guardianship of her at some point and move her to a facility where she will be cared for. They will take over managing all her medical and financial affairs.
If you believe your sister is a danger to others or herself on the road, you can report her at the WI DMV website. They will mail her a letter telling her to come in for a test (maybe eye, maybe behind-the-wheel, it differs by state). Then if no one takes her to this test her license will expire and she legally won't be able to drive. But that doesn't stop her from getting into the car and driving. So, maybe someone needs to go and disable her car, or do one of the many other tactics that have been discussed on this forum (look under Care Topics for this).
Can you please give more info about who the other person is that is living with her? Why isn't this person doing anything about the situation? Are they worried about losing their place to live? Are they paying her rent? Is she living in their residence?
Recommending a book. Memoir is by Liz Scheier and isnamed Never Simple. Ms Scheier's Mom was personality disordered. This all took place in NYS, and no, nothing could be done. After many many many years, unimaginable turmoil, loss of everything, and intervention of all state and city authorities and Social Workers her Mom died in shelter in old age. In short. Not everything can be fixed. Read the book. I think you might see yourself. If you have notified APS of adult at risk it is basically all you can do, and I am dreadfully sorry for what you are going through. The state often will not take guardianship forcibly if an adult is in ANY way competent. I wish you every luck and my heart goes out to you.
My sister had & still has reduced hygiene habbits. Not sure of the exact culprit: remembering, motivation to start, concentration to complete - maybe a mixture. It took a hospital admission to get a medical dx, then acceptance, before help was accepted. She was not independent for this from way back. It progressed from needed prompting, then light assistance, now a lot of physical assistance. But now happily accepts help.
If dementia is present, people start to need assistance - not just to wash but in so many areas of daily living also.
It's a very hard situation.
Others can see help is needed. But often a person with dementia/stroke/brain injury/mental illness cannot.
Nobday wants their rights taken away. Nobody wants to be forced to have their cognition tested, to be forced to move. Yet if the person is a danger to others, a danger to themselves - for safery, limits to their freedom & restrictions have to be made.
Unless your sister can be coaxed into accepting help, you probably have to wait.
I am very sorry you are going through this.
Has the relative she lives with reached out for help?
As Alva outlined, APS will eventually intervene when things get "bad eough". If your sister has not assigned PoA then the county will acquire guardianship of her at some point and move her to a facility where she will be cared for. They will take over managing all her medical and financial affairs.
If you believe your sister is a danger to others or herself on the road, you can report her at the WI DMV website. They will mail her a letter telling her to come in for a test (maybe eye, maybe behind-the-wheel, it differs by state). Then if no one takes her to this test her license will expire and she legally won't be able to drive. But that doesn't stop her from getting into the car and driving. So, maybe someone needs to go and disable her car, or do one of the many other tactics that have been discussed on this forum (look under Care Topics for this).
Can you please give more info about who the other person is that is living with her? Why isn't this person doing anything about the situation? Are they worried about losing their place to live? Are they paying her rent? Is she living in their residence?
Ms Scheier's Mom was personality disordered. This all took place in NYS, and no, nothing could be done. After many many many years, unimaginable turmoil, loss of everything, and intervention of all state and city authorities and Social Workers her Mom died in shelter in old age.
In short. Not everything can be fixed.
Read the book. I think you might see yourself.
If you have notified APS of adult at risk it is basically all you can do, and I am dreadfully sorry for what you are going through. The state often will not take guardianship forcibly if an adult is in ANY way competent. I wish you every luck and my heart goes out to you.