My sister, the executor, does not communicate with me. I was the sole caregiver for my Father for 2 years. She came up with the plan that we would care for Daddy 50/50...I would be the caregiver for Daddy in my home for 6 months, then she would care for Daddy in her home for 6 months. That way we could each have a break to see our adult children who all live out of state and to get some rest from caregiving. I agreed, especially since I was already exhausted emotionally, physically and financially as being the sole caregiver for my Mother-in-law and Father-in-law for 9 years in my home. They both passed in Jan,2014. I had a short break, then Daddy came to live with me in June,2014. I cared for him, as agreed, for my 6 months. Then it was my sisters turn to care for Daddy in her home, 30 minutes from my home. We all lived in the same city in Alabama. She refused to do her part...she said, "it was unfair to me and felt guilty, but she couldn't do it." So, I cared for my Daddy for 2 years, 24/7 without her help or support. She didn't stay true to her commitment.
- I still have her committment in a message on my computer
-she also, did not provide for his care financially on a 50/50 basis as agreed upon. I still have my receipts for the thousands of $ that I spent.
Not only did she not provide care or money, but was verbally abusive to me:
-3 ugly letters she sent by mail to me during the 2 years...I still have them...never even mentioned them to her
-ugly phone calls from her
-lies and accusations told to family and friends about me that I found out about
- she, husband, her children and her friends did not speak to us at the funeral.
My husband I felt like "Funeral Crashers"
-she had a professional photographer come and take pictures of the Military funeral,
but did not include us in the pictures
-most of all...her disrespect to our Father
I always said she was welcome to come visit or call Daddy anytime and would always keep her informed if Daddy got worse...and I did... until the day he passed away. I called at 4:00am to let her know he had passed and she was welcome to come over and say her goodbyes. She and husband came, did not speak to us when we opened the door for them. Left without telling us they were leaving. The cameras we had set up in Daddy's part of our house were still on and several days later we remembered and looked through the videos. It shows my sister, not shedding one tear and my brother in law walking right passed Daddy's bed, never looked at him or said a word...just went and sat in a chair as far away as he could be from Daddy.
-I covered for her for not coming to see Daddy...came on rare occasions...because I didn't want him to know how she was treating him and me...but he knew...he told the Hospice nurse and she told us and how he was so depressed about it.
Question 1: Does my sister owe me monetarily for her half of expenses and caregiving time that she did not do, since I have a written agreement on my computer from her?
Question 2: She is executor, estate has gone through probate...Should I get a Deed showing I own 50% of Daddy's house?